HEADLINES: German fans force Bundesliga owners to backtrack on plans for private equity deal; Everton's unprecedented 5-point weekend and Neymar gets roped into the sad Dani Alves situation

WHAT IF: in honor of Patrick Kane returning to Chicago and beating the Blackhawks with the Detroit Red Wings, what current player on your favorite team would it hurt the most to see play for your archenemy (a la Sol Campbell moving from Tottenham to Arsenal)?

PREMIER LEAGUE: takeaways from (and butthurtedness about) Carabao Cup final; Sam's unfortunate Arsenal epiphany; whether it is too soon to call Gio Reyna's move to Forest a bust and preview of Sunday's Manchester Dærby

ROUND THE WORLD: MLS Hit-It-N-Quit-It Minute is BACK plus some 2024 season predictions and hot takes

STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs