EP 188 Watch out For: Performative Healing & the Rise of the Shamefluencer

Wabi Sabi - The Perfectly Imperfect Podcast with Candice Kumai

Candice Kumai

Health, Mental Health, How To, Nutrition, Wellness, Health & Fitness, Wabisabi, Education

4.8 • 780 Ratings

🗓️ 7 July 2025

⏱️ 19 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This week, I’m peeling back the glossy filters and calling it like it is. Why are so many individuals on social just shaming machines in disguise? I’m talking about the rise of the shamefluencer — creators who weaponize wellness language to judge, call out, and divide. It’s a culture that prioritizes perfectionism over progress, comparison over compassion, and fear over freedom. In this solo episode, I’m chatting performative wellness is hurting real healing, and what true self-work actually looks like — beyond the highlight reels and hashtags. Healing isn’t about shaming others to feel better about yourself or to grow a following or get clicks. It’s about embracing imperfection, owning your journey, and showing up with honesty and vulnerability. Be gentle with you and with all. It’s time to reclaim wellness as a space for growth, connection, and kindness — not judgement. A gentle reminder from me to you: everybody’s trying their best — and if you can be kind, be kind. You can always be kind. x Candice

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey friends, welcome to the Wabi-Sabi podcast.
0:03.4	Konishua, Konbauer, Genki-Diska.
0:05.9	I hope you guys are having a great week and you had a fab holiday weekend.
0:11.3	Today I'm going to talk about something I've seen out in the TikTok universe mostly and on YouTube.
0:19.1	And it's called shaming versus giving advice.
0:25.0	It is infuriating to look around these days and to be pretty upset about people that are doing
0:31.6	performative call-out content cloaked as self-help lingo. The format is about the same. It'll say something like,
0:42.2	let me tell you what not to do. This person is everyone's nightmare. You're the problem if you're
0:48.5	doing this. It's called shaming disguised as advice. And right now, it's on the algorithm because it really rewards conflict.
0:59.6	Oversimplified healing soundbites and it will lead to more outrage. It's not really about genuine growth, wisdom, legacy brands, or true life advice. If you're like me, you can hear those tones of
1:15.6	superiority with no vulnerability for others at all. Everybody is just trying their best in this
1:23.3	lifetime. It feels like there's no actual depth because there is no actual healing going on.
1:30.4	It is just behavior policing. What happens is we're weaponizing psychology terms by gaslighting,
1:40.4	following narcissists, using trauma responses with no accountability at all and as somebody who has
1:48.7	recently gone through a heavy process where i went as you know on the last two episodes i think i
1:56.5	shared i went away and did a lot of self-work with 31 other amazing souls.
2:02.9	None of us would ever police or shame others because we know and understand that all humans
2:10.1	have trauma and everybody grew up with different patterns that were given to us or learned
2:17.0	by our own parents.
2:19.2	It seems almost absurd to be going on a social media account and blasting other people.
2:26.6	For me, personally, my Japanese mother would not be proud of that type of behavior,
2:33.2	and that's kind of the gauge that I've always used
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