Did the Pope give his blessing to same sex relationships yesterday as the media breathlessly reported?

No, not quite, but I understand why you might think so.

In a new document for the Dicastry for the doctrine of faith,

formerly known as the Holy Office, formerly known as the Inquisition,

the church has declared that priests can give same-sex couples

a, quote, spontaneous blessing blessing but not a blessing that is

quote liturgical or resembles marriage. No, quote clothes, gestures, or words

that are proper to a wedding can be included so as to quote

avoid any form of confusion or scandal. The blessings cannot be connected in any way to

civil unions and quote rights and prayers that could create confusion

between what constitutes a marriage which is the exclusive stable and

indissoluble union between a man and a woman naturally open to the generation of children.

So no, the church did not approve the blessing of same-sex unions. Exactly. And yet, some liberal priests, including one

media-savvy Jesuit in particular who's inordinately obsessed with

weird sex stuff, has celebrated the document as, quote, a major step forward and mocked

the notion advocated by conservatives that nothing had changed.

So what does this mean?

It means, I'm sorry to say,

just about whatever you want it to mean.

It means that the Vatican has not officially approved

blessings for same-sex unions,

as many are reporting, but it also means something else.

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