You may have heard a new story out of Scotland this week about Willie's chocolate experience.

Advertisements for the event featured gorgeous illustrations reminiscent of Roll Dolls,

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and promised, quote, an immersive world where chocolaty

dreams become reality in a spectacle you've never experienced before unquote

that last part turned out to be true because when parents who paid $45 a ticket drove their children as much as two hours to reach the event

They found nothing but a nearly empty warehouse with a couple of giant plastic mushrooms and a deflating bouncing castle

where each child was given two jelly beans and a half cup of lemonade. So it was indeed

something they'd never experienced before, assuming they'd never before experience, spending $45 for a couple of jelly beans.

Unfortunately, the story doesn't end there, because here in the U.S. a very similar event has turned

up called Joe Biden's Democrat experience,

where customers are invited to visit a magical and immersive nation of peace and equity,

and instead are disappointingly shot dead by a guy who was released from prison two hours

after he shot the last customer. Family man Jack Mahoney said he bought tickets for himself,

his wife, and two kids because the ads promised a visually stunning recreation of a victorious Ukraine

celebrating its inclusion in NATO, but instead found nothing inside

except a nuclear blast that destroyed the entire continent of Europe. Mahoney said, quote, it was a big letdown for the kids.

They were really excited to enter the colorful and immersive experience

of Joe Biden's successful foreign policy,

and instead they were just totally vaporized.

All we got was a Dixie cup with some flat ginger ale in it

and some baggies to collect the handfuls of radioactive dust

that used to be Jimmy and Jane.

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