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For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast

[Encore] Stop Lying to Yourself: Dr. Sara Kuburic Wants You Take Ownership of Your Choices for True Happiness

For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast

Jen Hatmaker

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.66.3K Ratings

🗓️ 15 August 2025

⏱️ 62 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

It’s time for another beloved encore presentation and this time we are bringing back this powerful podcast therapy session for your benefit and enjoyment.  Dr. Sara Kuburic, an existential psychotherapist and author behind The @Millennial.Therapist, offers profound insights into taking ownership of our lives. Dr. Kuburic champions the idea that we are free and responsible agents, shaping our own development through our choices. While it's easy to blame external forces for unhappiness, she encourages us to embrace the amazing opportunity to engage in life fully. She poses a crucial question: how much of what we face is inflicted by us, and how much just happens? As a therapist, she equips people with tools to navigate life’s challenges, asking: “what can you change or how can you change your attitude so the situation is less painful for you?” Beyond existential thought, Jen and Dr. Kuburic explore self-loss and how we can unknowingly deceive ourselves into believing we're living the life we desire, even as our bodies signal distress through depression, anxiety, and panic. Jen and Dr. Kuburic get honest about: The difference between loving the "idea" of who you are versus who you actually are, and how to stop self-deception. The point when avoiding change becomes more painful than embracing it. Acknowledging our physical limits: how our bodies send red flags like anxiety, fear, or panic, even when we feel strong. How an all-consuming dedication to making something work, even if it's not right for us, can lead to our weakest moments if we don't face the truth. Thought-provoking Quotes: “We get to engage in life; we can take ownership, we can take responsibility, we can make choices, and I think that that’s really how I see human suffering. My question is always, ‘how much of it happened to you? How much of it did you inflict on yourself?’” – Dr. Sara Kuburic “Life happens to us but that’s not all that happens. We also happen to life.” – Dr, Sara Kuburic “The most pain I experienced actually came from my own participation, which included avoidance and self-deceit. I am not hard on myself because it came from such a pure place. I can’t be mad at myself. But, I also understand that it’s not something that serves me.” – Dr. Sara Kuburic “The truth is there regardless of whether or not you choose to see it. It will dictate your life until you see it. So are you safe enough in yourself to handle the truth that you are resisting or avoiding? That’s a really delicate question that we need to honor.” – Dr.  Sara Kuburic Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Dr. Sara Kuburic’s “For the rest of 2025” Instagram post - https://www.instagram.com/p/C_WjH0mzF9z/ It’s On Me: Accept Hard Truths, Discover Yourself and Change Your Life by Dr. Sara Kuburic - https://amzn.to/3Uf40yf Dr. Sara Kuburic’s USA Today Column - https://www.usatoday.com/staff/7586635002/sara-kuburic/ Guest’s Links: Website - https://www.sara-kuburic.com/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/millennial.therapist/?hl=en Twitter - https://x.com/SaraKuburic Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/sarakuburic/ Connect with Jen!Jen’s Website - https://jenhatmaker.com/ Jen’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmakerJen’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/ Jen’s Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmakerJen’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmaker The For the Love Podcast is presented by Audacy.  To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

I've ruled out uni because I want to live at home.

0:02.0

I've ruled out uni because I want to earn money.

0:05.0

I've ruled out uni because of my grades.

0:10.0

Study with the Open University and there's no need to rule out anything.

0:13.0

With our respected degrees, you can learn from home and work alongside study.

0:17.0

We're open to all. Plus, you'll have the support of expert tutors. So rethink your

0:23.6

future with the degree you didn't think was possible. The Open University, the future is open.

0:36.3

Everybody, welcome back to the show.

0:38.3

We're really happy.

0:39.8

I'm happy to see you.

0:41.1

First of all.

0:42.1

It's been a minute.

0:43.0

We have not been in this studio together recording for five weeks.

0:48.3

That's a long time in podcast world.

0:50.5

It really is.

0:51.3

We had adventures abroad, the both of us. Oh, no, no, I'm sorry. I was not

0:59.0

abroad. I was in the United States. But almost. Abroad from Texas. Almost to Canada.

1:06.1

I mean, not, that is true. I was almost in in the ocean which is technically international waters

1:13.1

there you go i mean i actually was i put my feet into international waters anyway we're delighted

1:20.1

to be back um can you everybody already knows that i've spent a month in oregon because i put

1:27.0

all of my life on the internet.

1:29.6

But they don't know where you've been.

...

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