Encore Pushing Back On Patriarchal Narratives with Elise Loehnen

For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast

Jen Hatmaker

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.6 • 6.3K Ratings

🗓️ 17 October 2025

⏱️ 60 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Description: In this episode of the Matriarchy series, we explore how deeply ingrained patriarchal narratives can create a policing effect on the behavior of women. Author, Elise Loehnen, discusses her book "On Our Best Behavior" which examines how concepts like the seven deadly sins have historically been used to restrict women's behavior and police their adherence to an idealized form of "goodness." Loehnen unpacks the insidious ways women are culturally conditioned from a young age to suppress normal human drives like anger, ambition, and sexuality. And how disrupting rigid gender stereotypes is important when raising the next generation in order to build a more compassionate world. … Thought-provoking Quotes: ★ “Women are trained for goodness; men are trained for power.” – Elise Loehnen ★ “Patriarchy isn’t just out there in systems and structures — it’s in us. It’s the air we breathe.” – Elise Loehnen ★ “A ‘good woman’ never needs anything. She has no wants, no anger, no appetite. She exists to meet everyone else’s needs — and calls it virtue.” – Elise Loehnen ★ “We are so conditioned to police ourselves that we end up policing each other.” – Elise Loehnen ★ “I hold everything I think with loose hands. This is what I know now. But I’m open to the me who might think differently later.” – Jen Hatmaker Resources Mentioned in This Episode: ➤ On Our Best Behavior by Elise Loehnen - https://bit.ly/44tz41D ➤ Goop - https://goop.com ➤ For the Love of Being Seen and Heard ft. Lori Gottlieb - https://bit.ly/4b8YT9C ➤ Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb - https://bit.ly/3JO7FOn ➤ Evagrius Ponticus (Fourth Century Christian Monk) - https://bit.ly/4b7zEV5 ➤ Pope Gregory on the 7 Deadly Sins - https://bit.ly/3y1J1XK ➤ Harvey Weinstein Abuse Cases - https://bit.ly/4b5ktM5 ➤ Carol Gilligan - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carol_G... ➤ In a Different Voice by Carol Gilligan - https://bit.ly/3JQ9IBh ➤ Human Voice by Carol Gilligan - https://bit.ly/3UQ1Rcn ➤ Andrew Tate - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_... ➤ Order, Disorder, Reorder (An idea Developed by Richard Rohr) - https://bit.ly/44xzHqK ➤ For the Love of The Enneagram ft. Richard Rohr - https://bit.ly/3QzzZaW ➤ Loretta Ross - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loretta... Guest’s Links: ➤ Website: https://www.eliseloehnen.com/ ➤ Facebook: / eliseloehnen ➤ Instagram: / eliseloehnen ➤ Twitter: / eloehnen ➤ LinkedIn: / elise-loehnen-b867523 ➤ Podcast: https://www.eliseloehnen.com/episodes ➤ Blog: https://eliseloehnen.substack.com/ Connect with Jen!Jen’s Website - https://jenhatmaker.com/ Jen’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmakerJen’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/ Jen’s Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmakerJen’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmaker The For the Love Podcast is presented by Audacy. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:57.1	So do your research. Sometimes it's not about form. Like, there are some players that, for whatever reason, always play well against certain teams.
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1:22.8	Hey everybody, Jen Hatmaker here. You are very, very happy host of the For The Love podcast. Hey, we're bringing you something pretty special today.
1:35.4	This is a conversation that stayed with me since the day I recorded it. I don't know if you ever just walk away from a conversation and just keep thinking, gosh, I need it. I like need it. I don't know if you ever just walk away from a conversation and just keep thinking, gosh,
1:46.7	I needed, I like needed that. And this was, this was one like that for me. So we are, we're revisiting
1:54.7	my conversation with Elise Lonen. She's one, she's one of the people that I feel so glad and lucky and grateful has come into my
2:08.4	orbit, that I know her, that I get to, I like her so much.
2:13.7	Elise is the author of On Our Best Behavior, the seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good.
	...

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