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The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotionally Needy People - Tapping into your Foundation - I Didn't Ask For Your Advice - Fighting Desires

The Overwhelmed Brain

Paul Colaianni: Emotional Abuse and Relationship Expert

Mental Health, Education, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

4.52K Ratings

🗓️ 2 April 2017

⏱️ 71 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What if you're in a relationship where you need an emotional connection from someone else but they don't seem to be in the same space as you. Sometimes the one you love will come home after a long day and you just want to shower them with love, but they don't seem to want to shower you back. Is there something wrong with them? Is there something dysfunctional about you? If you are in a loving, supportive relationship, but can't seem to connect to your partner, maybe this segment will help you sort out what might be going on for you. Sometimes your partner has reached their giving limit and it may have nothing to do with you and everything to do with how much energy they have left for themselves. In segment two, I read a message from someone who shares her multiple traumas and how this show has helped her live a better life. But it's not just about this show, it's about you building a solid foundation inside yourself so that you will have a place to land when you fall. And you will fall! So keep that foundation intact. And you don't have to go through the struggles alone. That's why this show and many other resources exist. In segment three, a woman writes to me and says that she doesn't seem to be learning the lessons fast enough for her boyfriend. She feels overwhelmed and even though he teaches her a lot of ways to work through things, she's starting to build resentment. Hmm… maybe she is getting advice that she's not necessarily asking for? Not sure, but a great message to explore nonetheless. Sometimes unsolicited advice can do that. It can build resentment because the person getting the advice may not be in the right space for it. It's like when someone recommends a book to you and you go check it out only to find out that it isn't helpful at all. Then 10 years later you see that same book and suddenly it's exactly what you needed. You might need to go through some other life lessons that prepare you to be in a space where a particular piece of advice or direction works for you. Always go in the direction that works for you. If you have a helper friend that gives great advice, their words may not always work. Not because it isn't good advice, but because you haven't reached a place where that advice really sticks. Self-empowered action is usually the best course of action, but it takes special people to understand that and leave you on the path you're on until you ask them for help. Then you might just learn something that stays with you forever. During the close of the show, I talk about how to live contently with strong desires. Is it possible? Sometimes it seems completely futile because desires can get so strong. The desire to cheat, the desire to lie, the desire to be with someone romantically, and even desires you don't want anyone to know about. I don't think the goal is to get rid of your desires, I think it's to fulfill them in a healthy way. If you can figure out what's missing in your life first, then write those things down, then you'll be clear on what you need to fulfill in yourself. There's more to it of course. One step toward fulfilling your needs is to do it from a place of desire without desperation. Once you bring desperation into the mix, you'll likely repel what you want to attract. There's a science behind what you focus on is what you'll see and get more of, but there's also a faith that might need to be adopted that what you desire in your life, when it's not motivated by desperation, could be what desires you too. Today's episode is brought to you by getoutofthemess.com

Transcript

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0:00.0

You are listening to the overwhelmed brain.

0:02.6

Today's episode is brought to you by get out of the mess.com.

0:05.8

Let Asha, your legal shield associate connect you to a legal insurance plan that's right for you.

0:11.0

Quality attorneys at established law firms for about $20 a month.

0:15.0

Are you annoyed by affirmations?

0:18.0

Are you tired of that same old, rehashed personal growth advice

0:22.0

that all seems to boil down to, think positively and all

0:26.5

your problems will go away.

0:29.0

If affirmations feel like

0:32.5

denial, then I want you to get ready.

0:35.1

The overwhelmed brain is here to help you create the life you want now. Wow. Do I know this by heart?

0:54.0

Hello, this is Paul Kolyani, personal empowerment coach and host of the overwhelmed

1:00.1

brain.

1:01.2

This is the personal growth show for the critical thinker. On every

1:04.3

episode we'll talk about practical down-to-earth steps to help you improve your mood

1:08.8

and keep you sane in this powerful journey we call life. I want to help you bridge the gap

1:14.3

between your emotions and reason causing you to discover why you do the things you do

1:18.9

and what you can do to reach higher levels of happiness and lower levels of stress and overwhelm.

1:24.9

Everything I talk about in this show should not be mistaken for actual medical advice or treatment

1:28.8

and is intended to be for informational and educational purposes only.

1:32.6

Always consult a physician before making any changes to your medical treatment.

1:36.9

What you'll find here is an increase in your emotional intelligence, a strengthening of

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