Hey heads up my book conscious coaching is about to turn eight years old. It's hard to believe it's been that old. My next book is going to come out next September. But we are doing something we do every day holiday season where we are doing signed copies of the book and my customized actual fifth grade handwriting. I have the worst handwriting in the world, but every message is heartfelt. So if you would like a custom copy signed of conscious coaching for you or your team, reach out to us. You can email us at info as an information at artofcoaching.com. There's something we love doing every year. We have had people in health care in the finance space in the sporting world by copies for their staff and literally I take a lot of pride in sitting there and signing all 50 copies or 25 copies or one copy. It's a chance to connect with you. It's a chance to thank you. This book helped change my life. I hope in some

small way it helps change yours. And if you don't want that, we appreciate you just supporting by buying a copy on Amazon. So artofcoaching.com, you can find it there as well or just email us, we would love to be a part of your holiday season. Heds up applications for our Coalition in in 2026 are now open.

If you really value community accountability

and just people to bounce ideas off of, whether you're starting your own business, whether you have a business, whether you're just a leader in an organization and you're struggling with typical people problems, the Coalition is all about creating an environment where you can work through these issues with other people that have been there, done that, and are still doing it. It's six months long, it's all virtual. We work it around your schedule. It starts in next August, but we are only opening this up to 10 people. I don't have any trouble admitting this. I am not somebody that likes to do things with massive groups. I like my network to be small, tight, very interactive, mutually problem solving, reciprocal, all those things. So this isn't some kind of big douchey mastermind, and I don't mind using that term. If you're right for the coalition, you don't mind it either. Go to artofcoaching.com slash coalition now, even if you're moderately interested, fill out the form. We don't require you to be a millionaire or own some kind of business. We do require you to be somebody that invests in themselves, that knows the difference between a cost and an investment, then somebody that would actually like to come up with problems that help other people as well as get your assault. The commitment's pretty minimal, folks. We do two Zoom calls a month. If you cannot carve out two hours a month to work through some of your biggest problems, well, not to be rude, but that says something else. So go to artofcoaching.com slash coalition now. Check it out, check it out. Welcome to the Art of Coaching Podcast. I'm Rev. Otholomew and at a young age, poor communication nearly caused me my life. Now, I help others navigate the great area of social interaction, power dynamics, and communication so they can become more adaptable leaders regardless of their profession, age, or situation. This podcast is for everybody who is fascinated with solving people problems. So if you're in the no-nonsense type who appreciates frank conversations, advice you can put to use immediately and learning how others navigate the messy realities of leadership, you're in the right place. I'm glad that you're joining us. Let's dive in. All right, special holiday edition of the Art of Coaching podcast. This one is all about, well, it's a holiday survival guide. Now, one of the things I wanted to ground this and is the fact that we're all gonna have conversations in the holiday during the holidays that are bound to get either weird heated, annoying, whatever. And like, do I need to make this podcast? Maybe not. I'm sure some people just have the strategy of,

I'm gonna avoid this. I'm gonna avoid that. But that works until you're sitting at a table, trapped between, you know, Uncle Captain Hot Take and then a passive aggressive grandma or mother-in-law or whatever, at some point in life, you're gonna have a lukewarm drink and nowhere to go during the holidays, right? And besides avoidance is in a skill.

So what do you do when you're going into a holiday environment and you know something's about to go down, right? And there are so many things that I wanted to put into this podcast, but I'll just try to keep it very, very someone. Remember, I'm trying to challenge myself and you were

not using avoidance as an option to just say, well, don't talk about this. Don't talk about that. We know that don't talk about religion. Don't talk about politics. All of those kinds of things. One thing to remember is it can be helpful to decide your role before you walk in, whether it's your in laws whether it's out you know you're doing like uh... a friend base christmas

or traditional It can be helpful to decide your role before you walk in, whether it's your in-laws, whether it's, you know, you're doing like a friend base Christmas or a traditional family. Most people get into trouble because they walk into a holiday conversation, really kind of not knowing like, what's my goal here? Am I here to kind of just blend in, observe, am I here to try to ingratiate? What is it? If it's just a holiday dinner, like keep it simple,

but try to stay away from, how do I phrase this? You're gonna have certain people that it's like, oh, well, how are the kids or how are this? And it comes off as effort, but it gives off the vibe that you don't really care about this, right? It's almost kind of performative. So when you go in and you think about your role,

the role should always be at least to be polite,

at least to be polite, at least to be interested, at least to be somebody who's dedicated to trying their best to not be the problem. So I try to think of some typical questions that most people aren't going to ask. And if it is, hey, how are the kids Or how has work been? Try to just go two to three layers deeper.

You don't need to like change the game with this. You don't need to try to do something very avant-garde. It's about signaling to the other person, hey, we're gonna have a conversation. I am interested in at least I thought of a few questions that aren't surface level. Now I even think about this when I see one of my uncles.

I haven't seen him in a long time.

He's had kind of a tough year if I just say,

so what do you guys been up to? aren't surface level. Now, I even think about this when I see one of my uncles, I haven't seen him in a long time.

He's had kind of a tough year if I just say, so what do you guys been up to or what are your plans for the new year? That's the kind of performative conversation that in some ways is almost as bad as religion and politics. I know that's a hot take, but remember, when you communicate, it's not just about what you say, It's the subtext of what is said.

And when you don't pardon me,

I'm dealing with a little bit of a cold, my son has given it to me. If you don't take the time to just at least think a layer or two deeper, like it's almost like, well, what are we doing here anyway? I know that's hard. So if it's about the kids, or somebody's kids, hey, what have they gotten into lately

in terms of school hobbies, not how is school, not how's work been? What's something interesting you've worked on at work this year? Oh, nothing. Was anything kind of challenged you? No, my boss is a prick. Got it. Now, like you don't need to keep digging there. You can just say, hey, is there anything else that you've done or taken up over the years,

or over this year, like anything that just,

like a pressure valve release, any hobby. don't need to keep digging there. You can just say, hey, is there anything else that you've done or taken up over the years,

or over this year, like anything that just, like a pressure valve release, any hobbies. Now let's just say they keep saying no, no. Now you just practice good orchestration and you turn it to somebody else at the table. Now, it's a fair point that you could say, well, if I just keep asking everybody questions, somebody could easily and there are these people in this family they could say

...