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The Art Of Coaching

E382 | Why "How Can I Help?" Isn't Always Helpful and What to Do Instead

The Art Of Coaching

Brett Bartholomew

Health & Fitness, Business, Education

5642 Ratings

🗓️ 23 June 2025

⏱️ 33 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

“Is there anything I can do to help?” It’s interesting and unique how we’ve all been asked this question by a spouse, friend, co-worker, or boss—but it never feels like that question leads to you getting actual help. It often feels like answering that question will cause you even more issues.  But, people are asking it with good intentions, so how can we actually seize this moment and get some relief from the overload? We’re always told as leaders that we need to delegate, delegate, delegate—so how can we respond to this request without adding to our overwhelm? In today’s episode, Brett is going to give us all the answers—and much more—to this age-old question we all somewhat cringe when we hear. Lean in as he covers: The psychology and first principles behind why we often decline help—even when we need it Cognitive overwhelm—how to reduce it, cut through the fog, and get the help you need Practical strategies to truly show up for someone and show you care Default requests you can use to get quick results based on their competence and ability How to respond with honesty that eases the emotional friction you might feel Iron Sharpens Iron You say you want to be the best—then stop avoiding the conversations that actually test you.This isn’t another feel-good workshop or conference where you can sit back, take notes, and disappear into the crowd. The Apprenticeship is fully interactive. We throw you into live, role-play scenarios and teach you how to navigate real conflict, difficult personalities, and power dynamics with clarity and control. No fluff. No theory overload. Just gritty, practical reps that expose your blind spots and sharpen your communication under pressure. Everyone could use some help—and if you're part of the audience we focused on in last week's episode, you'll even earn 1.6 CEUs!  Come see us in: 📍Oakland, CA – July 12-13📍Melbourne, AUS – August 23-24📍Murfreesboro, TN – October 25-26 (Im)Perfect Relationship Course One of our most popular offerings, for the married, divorced, dating, or anyone who wants to show up better in the relationships that matter most. We cover real stuff: communication strategies, attraction styles, love languages, parenting, money—and yes, even the topics usually left behind closed doors. Nothing’s off-limits. 🗓️ November 3 – December 2 This is a 30-day, 100% online challenge with live Zoom sessions each week. *Bonus: It’s also our most affordable course—so if you’ve been looking for a low-pressure, high-value way to go deeper with our material (whether you’re partnered up or preparing for “the one”), this is your chance. Join the waitlist now! Follow Us: Website: ArtofCoaching.com Instagram: @coach_brettb X: @coach_brettb

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Music

0:12.0

Chances are if you've coached or led at any point in time in your life.

0:16.0

You know what it's like to deal with issues.

0:18.0

Getting out of your own head. Not freezing up. Getting defensive.

0:22.0

The challenge of communicating across different generations,

0:25.9

dealing with difficult people, and overall just building lasting buy-in.

0:30.1

We all can improve in these things.

0:32.2

There's always room to improve.

0:33.9

Iron, sharpen, iron.

0:35.5

And if you're somebody that values that, and maybe it's not even that stuff, maybe you

0:38.7

just want to have more confidence, more charisma.

0:41.2

You want to improve sales.

0:42.5

Then our apprenticeship is what you are looking for.

0:45.2

And we're gonna be in Oakland, California,

0:47.4

July 12th and 13th.

0:48.8

It's gonna be my last trip to the West Coast

0:51.3

for quite some time.

0:52.4

It doesn't matter what field you're in.

0:54.5

If you deal with people, if you like doing the hard stuff,

0:57.7

you wanna challenge yourself.

0:59.2

And most importantly, you just like interactive seminars,

1:02.3

things that are smaller, more face to face. You're not really somebody that wants to just learn from YouTube videos or

...

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