From the outside looking in, there doesn’t seem to be a lot in common between negotiating with a criminal to release hostages and coaxing your child to turn in their homework on time.  And yet, in both of these difficult situations there are some common strategies that are overwhelmingly effective; Both require tactical listening, curiosity and patience.  Today’s guest, former hostage negotiator Derek Gaunt, teaches us how to approach high stakes conversations so you can better influence the other person and more effectively (and quickly) resolve conflict when there’s a lot on the line. Specifically, we discuss: Why hostage negotiation is the same as any negotiation How to remain curious in a triggering conversation Ways to practice negotiation without being in one The key to influencing to anyone and everyone How to deal with irrational people and behavior Derek Gaunt is a lecturer, author of Ego, Authority, Failure©, and trainer with 29 years of law enforcement experience, 20 of which as a team member, leader and then commander of hostage negotiations teams in the Washington, DC metropolitan area. He is a hostage negotiation and incident command subject matter expert who frequently speaks at hostage negotiations and SWAT conferences across the country. Connect with Derek: On Instagram: @derekmguant Via his website: Black Swan LTD  Check out his book: Ego, Authority, Failure Today’s episode is brought to you by Helix Mattress and Hom-Gron: Helix:  If you’re like me, getting a good night’s sleep is not easy.  I’ve checked all the boxes of sleep routines, breathing exercises, caffeine, and blue light exposure, and the like.  But none of these can compete with having a mattress that is customized to your needs.  Go to helixsleep.com/brett to take a quiz that will match you to your perfect mattress, and use promo code BRETT to get $200 OFF any mattress + TWO free pillows for being Art of Coaching podcast listener!  HōM-GRōN: High Protein Bars are a healthy grab-and-go, chef-curated line of functional nutrition-based bars that are designed for today’s discerning individual. With 20 grams of protein in a single serving bar with no fillers, added sugar, or sugar alcohols, this bar is perfect for the athlete on the go. Whether you’re fueling your workout, picking up the kids, going for a hike, or heading to work, we’ve got your back.  Enter promo code BRETT10 for 10% off and all orders over $30 earn FREE SHIPPING.  Stock up! Oh, and just as a reminder- everything we do at AoC is about leadership development and absolutely nothing is specific to sport or training; Our focus and mission is to enhance your ability to connect with and build relationships with others. So whether you’re struggling with entrepreneurial, personal or professional issues- reach out to us! We have private and group mentoring, online courses and in person workshops.  AND if you’re considering coming to one of our upcoming workshops, we’d like to offer you an exclusive discount simply by being a listener of the podcast. Just pick an event at artofcoaching.com/events and use code Podcast10 at check out for an additional 10% off any of our live events.