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Doughboys

Doughlympics: Dunkin' Donuts v. McDonald's v. Starbucks with Sean O'Connor

Doughboys

Headgum / Doughboys Media

Fast Food, Healthfitness, Mike Mitchell, Snacks, Chains, Restaurants, Comedy, Ucb, Arts, Spoonman, Doughboys, Fastfood, Nick Wiger, Food

4.85.1K Ratings

🗓️ 18 August 2016

⏱️ 92 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

A coffee battle boils over in a melee between the three biggest java chains with this week's guest, comedian and Late Late Show writer Sean O'Connor. Chairman Evan Susser opens the show with a bombshell, prompting intern Yusong Liu into action. Plus: the debut of the International House of Hot Takes.

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Transcript

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0:00.0

In July 1980, the simmering cold war between the US and the USSR reached its symbolic

0:21.2

nadir as the International Olympic Committee's awarding of the Games to Moscow inspired an

0:25.2

American-led boycott of the competition.

0:27.7

With 65 countries refusing to participate due to the ongoing Soviet invasion of Afghanistan,

0:32.2

the competition was the shell of its normal self with most of the elite athletes sidelined.

0:36.1

At the closing ceremony, it's a jumbo-sized idol of Misha, the Games' grizzly bare mascot

0:40.0

was rigged with helium balloons and untethered to ascend out of the stadium and high into

0:43.8

the night sky as a weeping crowd saluted and waived, a surreal end to a sham Games waged

0:48.3

under a totalitarian state.

0:50.1

And today is the sunset on a similarly disastrous 2016 Dolimpix we turn to the beverage associated

0:55.2

with the sunrise, the morning, a new beginning, and hopefully a brighter future.

0:59.9

The warm drink made from roasted beans native to tropical Africa that became a global sensation.

1:04.6

The combatants, a triad of behemoths which comprise the three biggest coffee retailers in

1:09.0

the US, selling a combined $750 million worth of hot brown annually and ranking as the

1:13.8

first, third, and seventh biggest chains in America respectively.

1:17.4

McDonald's, the golden arches that shorthand for US food culture, Starbucks, the ubiquitous

1:21.5

Seattle-based coffee house that took its name from the chief mate in Moby Dick and Duncan

1:25.3

Donets, the pride of decrepit cesspool and more rundown version of Lowell known as Quincy

1:29.3

Massachusetts.

1:31.0

This week on Doe Boys, the third and final week of the 2016 Dolimpix Susser Games, coffee

1:35.9

division.

1:52.5

Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants.

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