So hello and welcome to Dopey, the podcast about drugs addiction and dumb shit and I am Dave.

And for those who aren't on Dopey social media, the worst thing that could have ever happened and Chris relapsed and died.

And here I am alone and my dad's with one microphone plugged into the mixer with Garageband open on my computer recording Dopey, which I've never done.

Every time we ever did it, Chris would record it on his computer and I would be able to fudge around.

And now this is going to be very weird. It's going to be very weird and it's obviously very, very, very sad.

I've gotten a lot of messages and emails and texts and all sorts of communication from you guys which made me feel great except for the fact that Chris died.

Which just wrecked me. It made me feel incredibly sad and incredibly angry and incredibly shocked.

One of the things that I heard about from you guys a lot was how bad he sounded in the past episodes.

And he did. He sounded terrible in the past episodes. I would say, I mean I'd go back till probably the one where Todd died.

Chris was pretty good at that episode. And I don't know when he relapsed.

But in my guess is that it happened around then just because his reactions to things were so different.

And we even talked about it in another episode where we talked about him not being accountable and people being concerned about him.

I heard from graphic design Ryan and I spoke to his sponsor Dylan and I spoke to him.

And the fact of the matter was that Chris was a very savvy liar. He was a very, very smart and charming person.

And he didn't want to cop to the fact that he was using. He didn't want to stop using I think or maybe he was scared.

I can't say what he was going through and I'm sure it was very hard because sobriety was so important to him.

And recovery was so important to them and to him that I'm sure there was a lot of pain and there was a lot of shame.

And I think there was probably a little bit of a thrill too because here he was.

He had finished his master's program and he was about to do his PhD.

And he was getting high and he had this beautiful girlfriend and he had all of these good things.

And he got to use at the same time and I'm sure it was confusing for him and I'm sure I can't say.

I do not know what he was going through or what was happening.

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