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Welcome to...

Hey!

Hello, we're off.

Sorry, yes.

Welcome.

Thanks for popping in.

Thanks for popping in for Breeze.

See you later.

Anyway, welcome to Ambridge on the couch, an in-depth look at the archers with me, Jeff Thomas,

Harriet, Lucy Freeman, James Everett and Matt Rodriguez Payne.

Now, before we make a start on your emails, let's have a recap of what happened this week in Ambridge.

We began the week with the wheat being ready, but no one else being ready to do anything with it, apparently, all because of trying to teach Justin a lesson.

Brian and Justin both started to wave their wrinkly old willies about, which I imagine will result in Stella leaving her job, as no one's paid enough to deal with that.

Great Dane has gone completely off his rocker and decided to offer a teddy zip wire for the fate. At first I thought

this was some six-foot nightmarish, costumed grotesque, curtling through the show. But no,

it's so much more pleasant than that. It's where children hang their teddy off a wire.

Krusty said that Phoebe was literally glowing, which is very worrying, and I suggest she sees her GP as soon as possible.

In other news, David asked was asking his newly qualified nurse son to check his dribble bar

...