When your child says or does something you don't like, your first reaction might be,

I raised you better than this, or don't make me look bad.

Ooh, we've all been there. I just was talking to a dad who his son is not

wanting to go to church. The dad's an elder and he's like, you need to come. You can't make

me look bad and I thought, okay, that is not a kid issue so much as it is a dad issue

All right so we're gonna turn a little bit on this podcast. I'm John Fuller along with Dr Danny W Werta. He's a dad, a therapist, an author, and

leads the team here that offers parenting resources. Last time we heard from Matt and

Lisa Jacobson. They're back with us today talking about how you can respond when your child misbehaves.

Lisa, let me delve into that a little bit, and I don't know if you found a difference with each of your daughters. I would think you did because everybody's uniquely made.

But the quiet soul. I mean you're sitting there, you're affirming, you're hugging, you're doing all those things to say you matter to me and you get

very little response I know you're gonna say yes stay motivated to keep going but

you may have one of those quiet daughters that you're not getting the kind of the feedback

loop to say oh this feels good oh thank you mom that's incredible mom

thank you you you don't typically get that I definitely have one of those for sure and you're right you do just you do it anyway

recently I just wrote the same daughter who's now living out of the home and I wrote her a letter just from my heart

because she was going through a really difficult time and I had no idea if it would offend her I didn't know if she would throw it out I had I just kind of mailed it to her and she texted me one word she said mom I got your letter I cried yeah and I just thought

praise the Lord I'm so glad so it did mean something to you even if you aren't as expressive as some of our other girls.

Well let me ask you for that mom and dad but how do you stay motivated?

You know we have our needs too emotionally and if we don't feel a response coming or it's minimal we can tend to trail off in those positive things. So how do we stay motivated

when you're not getting the feedback? How do you stay there? I think of a couple things is one is you

want to keep your long-term perspective. I know what kind of relationship I want with this child

when they are in their 20s, in their 30s, in their 30s, and on.

...