Does Being Good Mean My Beliefs Shouldn't Change?

The Liturgists Podcast

The Liturgists

Religion & Spirituality, Christianity

4.8 • 3.7K Ratings

🗓️ 6 February 2020

⏱️ 44 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Feeling shame and guilt when our beliefs change can be overwhelming. Our relationships with family, friends, and partners can seem to pivot solely on a shared understanding of what we believe. When our beliefs change we may fear that if people find out, they will not approve, or worse, they might abandon us. We may also feel anxious about not knowing what we believe and uncertain about where we are headed. Is changing what we think bad, or is it just a natural part of growth? In this episode, Michael Gungor and Dr. Hillary McBride talk about belief, change, and why we should embrace healthy growth. You can also join us each Sunday to talk with other liturgists around the world and meet in small groups. We also talk online everyday. To find out how to join The Liturgists to be a part of that community, visit theliturgists.com and look for the "Join The Liturgists" button.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Our world is built with stories.
0:04.0	Sometimes these stories cause suffering by pulling us apart from ourselves and each other.
0:10.0	The liturgist podcast helps people love more and suffer less by pulling apart the stories that pull us apart.
0:17.0	Today's story, being good means my beliefs shouldn't change.
0:21.0	Woo! This is the story of my life's past three years.
0:27.0	If you had asked me two years ago if it was bad to change beliefs, I would have said yes because change of beliefs means compromise.
0:36.0	It's hard for me to go to the family church and not just pick apart everything they preach.
0:42.0	So I'm in the middle of a faith transition myself right now and I don't think that there is much bad about it.
0:49.0	Honestly it's been a season of growth and love and peace and joy but I am worried that what for me is a step of fidelity and openness and growth in our relationship with God is going to be seen by my community as an act of unfaithfulness and betrayal.
1:12.0	It's mostly felt very unstable, completely uprooted. I don't feel like I have a framework for seeing the world anymore.
1:20.0	I have these internalized voices of the church, my parents, toxic version of God. I can't seem to let them go.
1:30.0	I don't really know what I believe anymore or if I believe in anything anymore.
1:35.0	So I feel a significant amount of shame and fear that I'll get caught and lose my job.
1:44.0	So my beliefs have definitely changed. I just don't know what to do and I feel really guilty about that. I feel like that's not something I can tell my friends.
1:54.0	I felt that I would lose the people closest to me.
1:59.0	I don't feel like I fit anywhere anymore.
2:02.0	I realized I couldn't hide anymore and the few people I have told have started to pull away from me.
2:11.0	Yeah it's hard and there are relational consequences.
2:15.0	He doesn't know how it's going to work out if we're believing different things now, especially with raising our three-year-old daughter.
2:22.0	What are we going to teach her and what's it going to look like to her if mom and dad don't agree on certain things?
2:30.0	He told me that we could no longer be brothers. This tension would form.
2:34.0	We would start filtering our words and I could feel that deep intimacy that was held together by some tribal sameness would slowly become unglued.
	...

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