I'm the cool dad. That's, that's my thing.

I know now what I can offer you that no one else can. Complete and undependent.

I'm a man. I'm sensitive. I need to feel loved. I need to be desired.

Yelling is the only part of being a father that I enjoy.

Welcome to Dear Old Dads, the podcast that's Got Stitches. I'm Tom Curry.

Joined as always by Thomas Smith and Eli Bosnick. Hello, gentlemen.

We record these two at a time, but I can assure the audience I have ejaculated by now.

By the time you're hearing this, he may be dead.

Hey, for once it's me, Eli, if that's anyone's first episode of our show, for once I ruined it instead of Eli.

To be fair, when we said the show was called Dear Old Dads, that is telling the audience we've

ejaculated.

I mean, at least once, yeah.

Because here on Dear Old Dads, we don't believe in adoption.

Unless you're Elon, then you have 15 kids and have never had sex.

I actually don't think that guy has ever had sex. There's no fucking, someone steals his come for the child support every time he falls asleep talking about polytopia or whatever. He has a weird pyramid scheme, and I don't know if that's the right word. He has a weird thing where they can take his come for free. It's like open source. As long as you make a open source come

horrible boy. God, I hate everything. Is there, there's never been a more hateable person. Like,

I'll be honest. There's never been. Everything I find out about Elon Musk. Have you seen his dad lately?

That clip is going around of his dad. Oh, oh my God. Is his dad also a reprehensible shit? Even worse, Tom. Even worse than him. Literally not possible. He might be worse, but just not he's not in charge of anything right now. I think that's the only difference. Like if his dad was in the White House, he would be worse. His dad married and had two kids with his stepdaughter. You don't know this? Okay, that's worse.

Dude.

No, I thought, yeah, okay.

That, wait, no, I didn't know that. Jesus. That's unreal. That guy is the most hateable person, maybe of all time, like Elon combo, he and his dad. An ever-strengthening combination of hatred. Yeah. They should take one of those fucking rocket ships and put Elon and his dad and all of his fucking stupid children in there and blast that whole fucking thing into the sun.

And offer everyone a doge coin who goes so that all the people who deserve to be on it

...