It's the 10% Happier Podcast.

I'm Dan Harris.

Hello, my fellow suffering beings. How are we doing today? Here's a question for you. It's a long question. Do any of the following behaviors describe you either chronically or episodically? Do you find yourself caring too much about what other people think about you? Do you say yes when you don't want to? Do you avoid conflict sometimes pathologically? Do you appease other

people? Do you go along to get along? And are you frequently in a state of hypervigilance and

anxiety? If any of that describes you, if you answered yes to any of those questions, you may be in

the habit of something called fawning. Let me just say here from the outset, some people are in a chronic state of fawning, others

do it occasionally.

I think I'm in the latter category. Either way, there are practical tools to turn down the volume

on fawning, or as my guest today says, to unfawn. Dr. Ingrid Clayton is a licensed clinical psychologist

and the author of a book called fawning. In this conversation, we talk about what fawning is,

chronic versus situational fawning, the physiological ramifications of fawning, how power plays

into all of this, ways to get some clarity around unseen bruises and wounds that might

drive your behavior, owning your anger and how to express it in healthy ways, how to know

if you're a fauner, some practical steps to unfawn, accessible approaches to regulating your nervous

system, how to set boundaries, fawning and unfaunting in a work context, and her observation, which I've been thinking about a lot, that wounding happens in relationships, but so does healing.

This episode comes with a guided meditation for our subscribers over at Dan Harris.com.

It comes from our teacher of the month,ff warren and it is designed to help you

withstand outside pressures and set boundaries in other words to unfaughn jeff will be doing our next

live meditation and q and a session tomorrow at four eastern so if you sign up at dan harris dot com you can get

our meditations that come with our Monday-W-Wensday

episodes and also get invited to our weekly live meditation sessions.

Finally, if you want to make a real difference this giving season, 10% Happier is part of Pods Fight

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