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You're on The Virtue.

We had a beautiful full moon on Friday. It was actually a super beaver moon.

Yes, that is a real thing.

That was, too.

That was my beaver impression.

And Abby had a homework assignment, and that homework assignment was this.

Think carefully about who you're doing this for, because you won't be able to distance yourself

from that person ever again.

To begin, take a sanitary pad and make a hole in it.

Through this hole, insert a photo of the person you wish to have in your life.

Next, use red ink to write the full name of your beloved on the pad, and wear the pad overnight

for the best results. If you are on your period, it is much more effective.

The next day, remove the pad and sprinkle it with powdered cinnamon.

Fold the pad towards you, then wrap it in a piece of your worn underwear.

Then, store it in a dark place where no one can find it, and don't be surprised if the person soon becomes deeply infatuated with you.

It's important to note that this ritual should be performed at night, and while it can be done on any day and during any lunar phase, it should not be performed during the last quarter moon.

The optimal time for this ritual

...