Depressed Husband vs Codependent Wife

Psychology In Seattle Podcast

Kirk Honda

Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.6 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 15 July 2024

⏱️ 85 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Bobisode! Dr Kirk and Bob answer patron emails.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/KIRK to get 10% off your first month.

00:00 Enablement or support?
22:01 Letting go of change & graduate school
28:30 Radical acceptance
41:54 2015 OPP
46:05 Bob's birthday messages & relaxing
1:13:08 OPP 2
1:14:51 Complex Integration of Multiple Brain Systems

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July 15, 2024

The Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®

Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	So Bob emails, it feels like it's been a long time since we've
0:04.1	podcasted but it hasn't been that long since we podcasted just a couple weeks
0:07.5	a couple weeks yeah but it feels like a long time to me why is that? Time flows
0:12.4	slower when you get older. No, that's not true. That's the
0:15.7	opposite. Yeah. Anonymous long-term patron and YouTube member from Delaware, she says,
0:21.6	hi Dr Kirk and Bob, I have been with my spouse for over 10 years.
0:27.0	I've been with my spouse for over 10 years. We have built a very safe feeling and supportive relationship where we are,
0:35.0	where we are, where we are each other's safe place when life gets hard.
0:41.0	He makes me feel loved for exactly who I am. I struggle with
0:45.3	balancing this safe supportedness for him and as emotions while also holding him
0:52.4	accountable for his inaction towards his goals in life.
0:57.0	So she wants to hold him accountable for his inaction. My husband has severe depression and anxiety and he suffers
1:06.7	greatly every day. He is in therapy and takes medication to help. Unfortunately those things alone are not enough to cure his
1:14.0	mental health. He has expressed wanting to build more of a foundation of
1:19.6	health to help himself get better, like losing weight, reducing his stress, and establishing
1:25.8	healthy habits like exercising regularly.
1:29.2	But it has been five years and he hasn't started to work on these things. So to recap, depression, anxiety, medication, therapy, he's expressed an interest in doing things to improve his emotional and physical health, but it's been five years
1:47.9	and he hasn't done those things.
1:49.9	As someone who struggles with more mild manifestations of the same conditions, I'm really
1:56.7	sympathetic to his lack of energy and I try my best to be to be supportive in moments where he makes the opposite choice
2:05.3	to his goals. Basically, I will hold him in those moments and tell him that I love him.
2:11.4	I just want him to be happy and healthy and that he means a lot to me.
	...

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