Welcome to Dear Prudence. I'm your prudence, Janay Desmond Harris. It's wedding week

at slate, so today I'll be answering letters from readers with dilemmas about whether

parents are obligated to pay for weddings they don't support for whatever reason, whether

a mean sister should get to attend an allotment, and whether you're really invited if you

don't have a paper invitation in hand. Here to help me out today is Shayna Roth. She's

a producer for the Waves Slates podcast about feminism and gender. She also helps with research,

production, and development on several other shows. In between all of this, she co-hosts

the weekly series and podcasts, Mitch Mash. Since we're doing an all-wetting episode, I

asked her to come prepared to talk about three things you might want to know about her experience

or perspective in this area. Okay, Shayna, first one. Okay, so I took this as sort of like

three things that I learned from my own wedding, which one is have the food that you want

to have, which sounds like kind of an obvious one, but like my husband's a picky eater if

anybody's read any of my writing or listen to me on other shows they know this. So we had

pizza and barbecue for our dinner at our wedding, and it was the best thing ever. So don't

feel like you have to have the, you know, chicken or fish options sit down, whatever. Like

really be sure to customize your food, make it, make it for you guys and make sure that

it's something you'll enjoy eating. Well, that also sounds like the food everyone would like

to have more than the dry piece of chicken with a little broccoli on the side. That's a really

good idea, but I would just say like, it, unless you have terrible taste in food. Also true,

or maybe have like a few options in case you have something that's really like niche for you

that other people might not like. Right. Did you eat much at your wedding? I did. I was very

fortunate that a friend of mine saved a piece of cake for myself and my husband each. Otherwise,

...