I'll now hand you over to my best man, Eddie.

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Cool, that was close.

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Hey there, crinklers, it's me, Captain Crinkle, here with my sage advice. If you're the

love-lorn, the forlorn, or the well-worn,

this is the place for you. We've got a great show for you tonight. We've got advice for a

disgusted sister and a jolted wife. Plus, your favorite, updates. Warning, updates might not

actually be updates. Yes, I'm Adam Felber.

You are getting an episode here of Dear Crinkle, whether you like it or not,

America's new favorite advice minisode.

We've got Paula Poundstone over there, and we've got me,

...