Dead Ringers, Series 20, Episode 6

Friday Night Comedy from BBC Radio 4

BBC

Comedy

4.2 • 13.3K Ratings

🗓️ 17 July 2020

⏱️ 28 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

If you’ve ever wondered what Michael Gove’s real job was, this episode reveals all. Plus the government’s Covid rules are clarified at last, and Laura Kuenssberg and the BBC’s North America correspondent battle it out to establish who in the world has said the stupidest thing. Starring: Jon Culshaw, Jan Ravens, Lewis MacLeod, Duncan Wisbey and Debra Stephenson. Written by Nev Fountain & Tom Jamieson, Laurence Howarth, Ed Amsden & Tom Coles, James Bugg, Simon Alcock, Cody Dahler, Edward Tew, Gareth Ceredig, Alex Hardy, Athena Kugblenu, Lewis Cook and Paige Wilson. Producer Bill Dare A BBC Studios Production

Transcript

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0:00.0	Ah, you are listening to the Friday Night Comedy Podcast from the BBC, recorded remotely,
0:06.0	and all interconnected with the finest technological washing lines ever created.
0:10.6	Lockdown? Ah, no, no, no. The unifying effects will be incalculable.
0:16.7	To enjoy, have a jelly baby.
0:30.0	Dead ringers, the gradually easing lockdown version.
0:42.0	Mr. President, Mr. President, are you taking the credit for the UK banning Huawei's 5G network?
0:51.6	Oh yes, that was all down to the Danil. I'm scared of Huawei. They're from China, China.
0:57.2	Where the China virus comes from, Kung Flu. We don't need five of their China fluGs,
1:03.4	or even the Fugies. The Chinese Fugies Fugies.
1:07.8	Now Boris is banned Huawei. I'm going to make them ban all the other things from China that scare me.
1:12.7	Those tiny trees, flappy dragons, chopsticks, cookies that tell your future, that's some really scary crap.
1:20.1	Better still, let's build a wall to stop China. A big wall. A great wall. A great wall of China.
1:26.3	That's my idea. A wall so bigly great you can see it on Kevin Spacey.
1:30.4	Mr. President, another question. Mr. President, are you angry about your niece's memoir?
1:36.0	She's just trying to cash in on the fact I'm president.
1:39.2	Both Dan, Jr., and Eric agreed with me about that at the launch of their new cola that Ivanka couldn't come to,
1:45.7	as she was launching her new president, Trump BBQ Condom Range.
1:49.7	They're ribbed and they taste like ribs, 11 different herbs and prophylactics.
1:54.8	Mr. President, your niece claims your dad was a cruel, unhinged tyrant who was mentally unstable and racist.
2:02.2	Sure, but Fred had some bad points too.
2:05.6	You need again, Obi-Wan. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but a loner.
2:13.2	Now I am the master. Only a master of evil, dar.
	...

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