You are tuned in to Lightworkers Lounge, a podcast for spiritual souls on their journey of enlightening the world.

I'm your host, Stephanie Powers. Welcome.

I turned 31 a few weeks ago on December 6th, and sometimes I feel like a 65-year-old, maybe even a 75-year-old

trapped in a 31-year-old's body. I've just been through so much in life, more than the

average person, way more than the average 31-year-old, that's for damn sure. And I think I

hide it well. When I've really let my guard down and share absolutely everything with someone I form

a close bond and trust with, they always look at me like, what? How can such a cheerful, optimistic calm

at times person have gone through so much hell and still have an optimistic attitude like this.

And I think it's because I fully understand

that it's always darkest before dawn.

I fully understand, even as a child,

I just fully understand that everything was happening for me, not to me.

With this eclipse season, and for us here on the Northern Hemisphere, the darkest day of the year on December 21st,

I've really felt a calling to go within and release things and review things. And I really saw how

it's always darkest before dawn. I've been reflecting all week on my life and how in those really,

really dark moments of life where I didn't even want to be here anymore,

it was always followed by a beautiful dawn that in the midst of things I never saw coming.

And sometimes life was so hard that I never thought I would see the dawn of day

ever again. You know what's interesting is when I went through my depression. I went through a

couple of years of really deep depression and just living a life that wasn't true to me.

All of my dreams, all of my dreams at night took place at nighttime and in the winter.

I would have dreams of climbing up an icy mountain covered in snow at night.

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