Searching for a romantic summer getaway, escape with Rich Girl Summer, the new audible original from Lily Chu. The exquisitely talented Philippa Su returning to narrate her fifth Lily Chu title. This time, Philippa is joined by her real-life husband, Steven Pasquale, set in Toronto's wealthy cottage country, aka the Hamptons of Canada. Rich Girl Summer follows the story of Valerie, a down on her luck event planner, posing as aite's long lost daughter while piecing together the secrets surrounding a mysterious family and falling deeper and deeper in love with the impossibly hard to read and infuriatingly handsome family assistant, Nico. Caught between pretending to belong and unexpectedly finding where she truly fits in, Valerie learns her summer is about to get far more complicated than she ever planned.

She's in over her head and head over heels.

Listen to Rich Girl Summer, now unottable.

Go to audible.com slash rich girl summer. Good afternoon, Michael Malice here. Let that be your welcome for the next hour. Guys, you're in for a treat because we have, as our guests, someone who I've been very privileged to become buddies with since I moved here to Austin. Dan Holloway, he's the co-host of Drinking Bros. Host of the Citizen Podcast. One of the smartest people here in Austin. Dan, you are kind of in the midst of having a technical hell. And I think just like last week, I had Alex Stein last week on the show. I owe you a covert apology for something you didn't even know happened. So the first time we met, I got the completely wrong impression of you because you got the beard, you got the tattoos, you're sitting there all serious. And I thought, oh, this guy doesn't have much of a sense of humor. It's like, no, you just have resting bitch face. You have a great sense of humor. Yeah, I am, uh, well, we like to say, uh, resting January six phase, which is similar, but obviously it's, it's a, it's a look. It's the whole thing is a look, you know what I mean? It happens. I don't get

upset when people judge me. Books have covers for a reason, you know. So it's funny when you do laugh. It's like the beer booths up and down kind of like the muppets or something. But the face doesn't really change. It's a commitment. Then one of the things I want to talk to you about, I was having dinner with the buddy of mine when I was in DC a couple of weekends ago.

And your host's show is obviously the audience's,

you know, predominantly male.

I think there's a big issue happening and I don't think it's being discussed enough. And even if it is discussed, I don't think anyone's doing anything about it. And I think all the signs are that it's getting worse, which is I think it's completely underreported how alone so many young men are. And I think a lot of our mechanisms like social media and corporate media are either exacerbating this trend or downright mocking it. You know, if you're someone who has like no friends, it's your fault. If you're not getting laid, you're an ill-sell loser. And and instead there being given the tools for these Many people who are quality of getting out of this very dark situation not having anyone in your life is something I wouldn't wish on most people. It's just like well too bad I'm curious if you've had the same impression and your thoughts on this subject. I have actually yeah quite a bit and probably a little bit ahead of the curve from the general public because this is the reason that my friend Jared Taylor started the group, my show at Drinker Brothers, but he started, it was originally a Facebook group and the purpose was that we noticed that when guys get out of the military, they go back to their hometowns and have no one to really connect with about all the experiences they've had and they tend to isolate as a result of that. So we created these groups, so not only that people could interface with each other using Facebook at the time, but also chapters in every major city in the country. I think we've got 700 subgroups at this point for different cities, different states, different interests, motorcycles, tobacco, like cigar clubs, like whiskey, all kinds of stupid stuff. I mean, it's just crazy. Anything you can imagine people being into, there's a group for it. And found great success with that. And I think it was, you know, I think because of the extreme nature of our experience, then it becomes a little bit more obvious to us earlier on than it does for a lot of people. But yeah, that was definitely something that we had observed a long time ago. And I think, you know, it's hard to say, I believe in the Hanlon's razor, I believe that almost always, it is... Incompetence. Yeah, it's not Michael's fault. It's not malice, it's usually incompetence, or fear or something, or something driving incompetence. That's typically what it is. So I don't think, certainly there are some, there are a bunch of weird transhumanist people out there that want to depopulate the earth and stuff like that. I have no, that's, to me, seems obvious that that's happening. But I think for the majority of people, it's just that human beings have this tendency when they're comfortable to try to solve problems as far downstream as they can, instead of solving them upstream where it belongs. Like if you come across a guy who keeps stepping in the same hole and spraining his ankle and your solution to is just have a ready supply of Tylenol form, then I mean, technically you're treating the problem, but really you're not, right? You're not treating the root cause of things. Fill the hole up or teach him to walk around it, right? That would be the obvious solution to that. So I think to some degree that people, young men, especially are being driven into it in a number of ways, I'm not sure it's intentional. I just think some of the pre-programmed things like rights of passage, for example, or men's social clubs or whatever have kind of gone the way of the dodo over the past couple of decades.

We don't have that unless you're Jewish and you do a part of Mitzvah. There isn't really a

formal process in most cultures in the West to say, hey, you're a man now, you have responsibilities. You know what I mean? And I think that's a big part of it. There's two, there's always some kind of bifurcation in life. There is the nuclear fusion, the tapping inside of a star,

battling gravity that holds it in stasis and a sphere like that. There is your effort and the outcome that happens as a result. When we talk about liberty, which we do a lot, there is an associated responsibility with it. And when you talk about this, you know, this life that we have, certainly you have to take care of yourself, but we're designed to buy nature to care for one another. Right? That's why we build civilization in the first place was to keep the existential friends out. And when you take that stuff away from people, they just start to look in the mirror. And that's not a good hobby to have. Yeah, I agree with everything you just said. I think human beings, especially males, are very solving problems. The wiring's solving problems. And if you don't have these kind of existential problems, like you mentioned, like if I don't have to worry about food or from my head, a lot of times people start spiraling, they won't know why. I also just think, I wanna hear your thoughts on this. I think all this talk about the war on man is a big talking point on right of center circles and there's something to it, but I, what would you tell these young guys? First of all, I wish anyone who's listening to this if this sounds like you, more likely than not, this is not your fault. I think it's very hard when you're young and alone to appreciate you're not necessarily a bad person. There's a sense when people are lonely that you deserve it and you're being told this explicitly constantly on X and other social media sites. But at the same time, there's techniques that young guys can do to kind of get out of this rut. Something else that you just mentioned is, it's a lot easier to stay in your house and have fun than it used to be when we were kids. There's more to do and your computer more to do in your TV. So that's kind of, the video games of the porn that's always a dangerous kind of siren song. What advice do you have to young people or anyone who's just like feeling alone doesn't know why? Well, I mean, you know, I think the fact that you're asking why in the first place is a step that most people aren't even taking. Like, right. If you're a young person, you're trying to do that. Most people tend to isolate them while low. So, you know, in today's environment, you should consider yourself a high performer already just in having noticed the fact that something's wrong. The second thing that we need is structure, right? So if you're going to, if you're going to learn a new skill, if you're going to get into better shape or whatever it is, there's an organization to that. You don't just go do random stuff and then hope for the best at the end. No, there's a process for it. And the process for becoming a better and more well adjusted human being, and especially a man, is to say out loud the kind of man that you want to be, and then make a list of the thing that that man does, and then go do those things. Look, people write in the God-DMI when you're talking to him. Hold the door for them. Ask them what every single day do you need my help? Right? Every single day do these things. Make it, make it, and look, you don't have to like, carry around a notepad and check off boxes every day. But what you're trying to do is exercise the, I guess, the ephemeral muscles, the ones that make you socially a good person because they atrophy like anything else and in some cases go away entirely if you don't do the right things. So if you do these small things throughout the day, you'll find yourself doing them instinctually. You'll find yourself on an airplane and before the woman even struggles with her suitcase, you're on your feet helping her put it up there. And it has a number of benefits. It has the benefit of making you feel important and accomplished and like a good man and also improves all the society. When it just not even a majority, which is an incredible mass of people do that sort of thing, then the tolerance we have for stupid bullshit goes away almost immediately, right? This idea of somebody getting into a woman's face on a public transportation, that evaporates. men just just, you don't have to go looking for fights. When men just act like men and take responsibility for the things around them that happens. You know, it's kind of, it's interesting because you and I are extremely different people on paper, but we see the world in extremely similar ways, which I find very interesting. Something you just said, I used to give talks and networking sometimes. And one of the points I make is if you know someone's in town, but if I know someone's in town, it's their birthday and they're not doing anything, I take them out to dinner. And I do it for me. And the audience laughs and I go, the guy who takes people out for their birthday is awesome. Like, you could be that guy. Like, what's it going to cost you?

It's 25 bucks, we'll throw it 40 bucks an hour for dinner.

That person will always remember it.

And you could be like, you know what? I made someone's birthday better. I did a good thing today. And you get to bond and have a nice meal. Like, it's all upside, no downside. And to your point, most people don't think in those terms.

And like, these are opportunities for you to paint yourself,

to be the kind of person that you want to be. When I got my first, when I had a little money in my pocket, the first place that I wanted to go to to visit was North Korea and I did it because when I meet my maker when I'm you know in my age 150, I want to be like you know what? I took the chance every chance I had to do cool shit and I don't regret it for a second. I would much more regret having that what's to grand in my bank account when I'm, you know, dying than that money cost me. Yeah, people rarely regret the things they did. They almost always regret the things they didn't do. I didn't spend enough time on this or that, right? And this is, these two things fooled together pretty nicely. And they make for a pretty exceptional worldview, a baseline of your worldview, I think. These things make for you one, that you don't regret the things that you do, you regret the things that you wish you had done.

And two, that no one can make you do the wrong thing and no one can stop you from doing the right thing.

In life, there is very, very little that you can actually control as a human being.

What's in your complete control is your attitude and your effort.

And nothing more, right? And you can apply your attitude in your effort

to the world in the same way that you can apply your labor

to the earth to extract the most value out of it.

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