Welcome to the Total Soccer Show Weekend Review.

After 164 years without any fanfare, Crystal Palace have finally won some silverware.

At Wembley, Man City failed to get out of the blocks on a great day for soccer and for handballs outside the box.

In the league, Goodersen Park hosted a game for the final time

and Jamie Vardy bowed out with a record that's sublime.

Declan Rice helped Arsenal complete their second place story

and Nottingham Forrester in the running for Champions League glory.

And in Italy, it's all very tight for the Scudetto Prize

as both Inter and Napoli could only manage ties. My name's Ryan Bailey. Your friend of mine, Taylor Rockcore, hello, Taylor. Hello, Ryan Bailey. A lovely introduction, as always. Did it hurt you to say ties, even though you needed it for the rhyme? Or are you okay with switching to American parlance when you need to? I have said soccer for the past 15 years or so, Taylor.

It's second nature. I'm okay now. Tushay. Yeah, there we go. No issues here. Graham Ruffman, how do you feel about saying ties? No, I don't mind it. It's cleats. Cleats is the only one. I just can't bring myself to use that in any article or any or any context. but anything else goes.

Bleating about cleating,

are you?

I see.

No, never doing that.

Never doing that. can't bring myself to use that in any article or any or any context but anything else goes

bleating about cleating are you i see no never doing that never doing that but the aren't

like boots like heavy things that you wear with jeans you wear to like work sites other people

wear boots with jeans yes yes you don't wear those to record every single day gram i think

you were heavy steel-toed boots for every recording session. Yeah, they're kicked in muds. It's quite the mess on the carpet. But, yeah, worth it for the protection. You never know what will come out your ankles during the game or your toes. It's not specifically related to soccer, but the only sort of Americanism I can't get behind in sports is winningest. They were the winningest franchise. No, that's not grammar. No. It isn't grammar. It's not grammar, ironically. Does it serve a purpose, that word? Because we don't, we meaning Brits, don't have a word that conveys the same thing. So even that I've been ground down on.

Cleats, though, that's where I draw the line.

Do you assume it's because you support Wimbledon and Charlotte

that you're uncomfortable with the term winning?

...