Cristela Alonzo

The Champs with Neal Brennan + Moshe Kasher

The Champs

4.7 • 2.4K Ratings

🗓️ 30 April 2014

⏱️ 89 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Comedian Cristele Alonzo sits down with the Champs to discuss her journey from growing up in an abandoned diner in Texas to doing stand-up in LA and finally landing a sitcom pilot for ABC.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, today's episode of the Champs is brought to you by Harry's.
0:04.8	Hey, is you Harry?
0:06.3	Yeah, you are.
0:07.5	Because you're probably a dude.
0:08.9	But you might not be, but if you are, you probably shave your face.
0:12.4	You know those blades?
0:14.0	You go to the store?
0:15.1	Neil.
0:15.6	Here's what I don't like about the blades.
0:18.0	You gotta ask for help.
0:19.8	Yeah, some weird dude.
0:21.4	Like a fucking child.
0:22.9	You gotta look around.
0:24.2	And somebody else has to go find the key because they've been stealing all those packs from Matt.
0:28.0	Oh, man.
0:28.5	He's on break.
0:29.2	You know what I mean?
0:30.2	He's on break.
0:31.2	They gotta go find him.
0:32.2	They gotta page him.
0:33.2	It's embarrassing.
0:34.2	Okay.
	...

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