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Welcome to Ambridge on the couch.

Cut out a bit and I was like,

welcome to Ambridge on the couch.

An in-depth look at the archers with me,

Harriet Carmichael, Lucy Freeman, Jeff Thomas, Matt Rodriguez-Pain

and James Everett.

I can't install my docks on my phone.

Okay. I haven't got enough storage,

so I'm just doing it on the fly. Okay. Pretty good so far. Yep. Well, until this bit, yeah. Yeah, well, I've been just wondering if you're going to, like, have I forgotten someone? No, no, no, no. Okay, kids. I don't think so. Now, before we make a start on your emails, let's have a recap on what happened this week in Ambridge.

This week was brought to you by wives being assholes to their husbands.

I know that's an uncharacteristic thing for me to say, but we are where we are.

Mick, who clearly has no idea what he's letting himself in for, has agreed to be Father Christmas at the Bull,

which is going to form part of the festivities along with Christmas brunch.

What in the world is a Christmas brunch?

Turkey waffles, bottomless gravy.

Mick decided to play Father Christmas as an aggressive deaf Irish pirate for some reason.

Linda backed him up and seemed to want to have Father Christmas as played by Vigo Mortensen luring children down to hell in what she termed creepy Christmas.

After what Jolene termed market research, which consisted of Helen Archer saying she might be interested in creepy Christmas and four tickets being sold for the brunch.

...