This is the Tom Hartman program.

And greetings my friends, patriots, lovers of democracy, truth and justice,

believers in peace, freedom, and the American way.

Tom Hartman here with you.

Bet O'Rourke threw his hat into the ring this morning,

metaphorically, in Iowa, giving a,

you know, showing up in a diner and answering a few questions

and essentially what was a really cool tough speech. To start out with the

flying spaghetti monster on day one the flying spaghetti monster

separated the water from the heavens

on the second day because he couldn't tread water for very long and he'd grown tired of

flying now keep in mind he's made out of spaghetti so if he gets in the water he's

got a problem. He created the land complimented by a beer volcano. Satisfied the

flying spaghetti monster over indulged in beer and woke up with a hangover between drunken nights and

clumsy afternoons the flying spaghetti monster produced seas and lands for a second

time because he forgot he created the world before along with a heaven and a

midget which he named man.

Man and an equally short woman lived happily

in the Olive Garden of Eden for some time

until the Flying Spaghetti Monster caused a global flood

in a cooking accident. I shared the Norse creation myth, or at least a

little pieces of it, which were parts of, you know, my parents,

...