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Trauma & Narcissism Redefined

Covert Narcissism 101

Trauma & Narcissism Redefined

Caroline Strawson

Narcissisticabuse, Health & Fitness, Narcissist, Self-improvement, Education, Recovery, Mental Health, Trauma

4.8 • 701 Ratings

🗓️ 28 February 2023

⏱️ 18 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In today's episode, I want to bring your attention to a particularly perilous type of narcissist known as the covert narcissist. Typically, we associate narcissism with individuals who are extremely extroverted and crave attention, often commanding the room's focus. However, it's crucial to note that not all extroverted people are narcissistic - this is far from the truth. The issue with covert narcissists is that they operate under the radar, making them much more difficult to detect until it's too late and you've become entangled with them. Once the relationship is established, the narcissistic abuse begins. In this episode, I'll be examining the ways in which you can spot a covert narcissist, their tactics for achieving their goals, and how to steer clear of them.

What you will learn in this episode:

  • The difference between a narcissist and a cover narcissist
  • How to spot a covert narcissist
  • Why a covert narcissist can be extremely dangerous

Knowing the various ways in which a covert narcissist behaves can help you identify them before it's too late. One of the tell-tale signs is their tendency to play the victim, refusing to take responsibility and instead blaming external factors for their situation. This behaviour is a major red flag in the early stages of a relationship with a covert narcissist. Another tactic they employ is making you feel guilty, often through expert manipulation techniques like gaslighting. They may convince you that you're solely responsible for the relationship's problems, leading you to believe that you're the one at fault. To illustrate these behaviours in real-world scenarios, I'll be sharing my own experiences with my covert narcissistic ex-husband and the warning signs I missed, as well as offering advice on how to avoid making similar mistakes.

Resources:

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome to the narcissistic abused and trauma recovery podcast. I'm Caroline Stawson and I'll be sharing with you, awareness, understanding and education about the devastating effects of narcissistic abuse. I've been exactly where you are right now. And this podcast is a beacon of hope

0:23.1

for you to know that you are believed, you are seen, you are heard and you are not alone. And my hope

0:30.9

for listening to the podcast is it will help you move from post-traumatic stress to post-traumatic growth after the trauma of narcissistic abuse

0:40.1

because it is possible. You are enough and you deserve to thrive. So a massive welcome to the

0:51.0

narcissistic abuse and trauma recovery podcast. You may notice that I've tweaked the name of

0:57.7

the podcast, which I'm really, really excited about. I initially started as the narcissistic abuse recovery

1:03.9

podcast, then I changed it to trauma. And actually, I want to incorporate both now. Remember,

1:09.2

you have been abused by a narcissist. We can't change that.

1:13.8

The trauma is what you hold onto, which is why I always say the power for us to heal is sadly

1:20.1

not changing the abuse that we have endured, but really understanding the trauma that we hold

1:25.4

within and working on that. And equally,

1:28.9

my free Facebook group is called narcissistic abuse and trauma recovery because they both go hand in

1:34.6

hand. You have been abused, but trauma is what you hold. And that's the part that we want to

1:39.1

heal. So I hope you will like the new graphic that I have as well with my pink t-shirt. I love that

1:45.4

T-shirt. I have to say, I get so many messages. So if you're looking at that going, I want one,

1:49.9

Caroline, because I always have people who say that. Please know that it will be coming soon.

1:54.4

You will be able to purchase that soon. An array of other T-shirts that I have with things like heal yourself, heal the next generation,

2:01.3

just to really each and every day empower yourself to know that there's hope and you can heal

2:05.5

from this trauma of narcissistic abuse. So in this episode, I want to talk to you about

2:11.5

covert narcissists. Now, for me, these are really amongst the most dangerous kinds,

2:16.7

because they kind of can go unnoticed in society.

2:20.1

You know, many of us think of a narcissist.

...

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