Courageous Conversations: How to Talk About Race with Kwame Christian and Dr. Lara Pence
The Hard Way With Joe De Sena
Spartan Races
4.8 • 874 Ratings
🗓️ 11 June 2020
⏱️ 39 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
A 3 step framework. In life, there are countless opportunities to have hard conversations. Whether we are confronting a friend who is struggling with unhealthy behaviors, giving a review to someone at work who hasn't been meeting their benchmarks, or talking to family members about certain high-octane issues, we are never at a loss to engage in a conversation that requires courage. Today our own Dr. Lara Pence talks with Kwame Christan, the Director of the American Negotiation Institute, about his framework for how to have hard conversations. His three-step method will provide you with incredible tools that will equip you with greater courage and confidence in beginning these hard conversations about race, conflict and the importance of getting to the other side of difficult conversations. Right now, racial injustice and the topic of race in general is at the forefront of many discussions. Many are opting in, attempting to navigate their own experience while listening to the community at large. Others are opting out, unsure of what to say, stuck in analysis paralysis, and hesitant to contribute. The truth is, it's easy to opt out. But we are Spartans. We opt in when it's difficult. We move towards obstacles. We call in challenges. And this is no different. But it's helpful to have some tools to get us started.
LESSONS
Turn passion into persuasion
Have the tools to have the conversation
Create connection
Understand the Compassionate Curiosity Framework
Find confidence in conflict
Acknowledge + validate emotions
Get curious with compassion
Engage in joint problem solving
Seek to understand
Acknowledge your own emotions
Learn to respond versus react
Look at conflict as an opportunity
This episode of Spartan Up is brought to you by DUROLANE, a single injection that may provide up to six months 1 of relief from osteoarthritis knee pain. Risks can include general knee pain and pain at injection site. You can see full prescribing information at DUROLANE.com.
LINKS
https://americannegotiationinstitute.com/
https://americannegotiationinstitute.com/justice/
TIME STAMPS
0:40 DUROLANE intro
3:00 The other side of difficult conversations
5:00 Where people are getting stuck
6:30 Tools to create connection + have a conversation
8:30 What's holding us back
11:00 Where to start - The Compassionate Curiosity Framework
12:45 What you can do to create change
14:30 Seeking to understand
15:00 DUROLANE Break
17:00 Moral licensing
20:45 Intent as a guide in conversation
22:00 Calling people out verse calling them in
23:40 The vortex of shame
25:45 The need for people to be understood
27:19 Micro-negotiating
30:00 Addressing concepts with kids + teens
35:00 Tools to practice
38:00 DUROLANE Close
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CREDITS:
Producer – Marion Abrams, Madmotion, llc.
Hosts: Guest Host Dr. Lara Pence
Joe De Sena, Sefra Alexandra, Johnny Waite & Colonel Nye are currently social distancing.
Synopsis – Dr. L & Sefra Alexandra | Seed Huntress
Production Assistant - Andrea Hagarty
© 2020 Spartan
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome everyone to the Spartan Up podcast. My name is Dr. Laura Pence. I am the chief mind doc of Spartan and today we have an incredible guest Kwame Christian who is the director of the American Negotiation Institute. |
| 0:14.6 | Now, why are we talking to Kwame today? |
| 0:17.3 | Well, a really important reason, quite frankly. |
| 0:20.8 | Listen, as Spartans, we lean in to difficult conversations. This episode of Spartan Up is brought to you by Duralane, a single injection that may provide up to six months relief from osteoarthritis knee pain. |
| 0:43.7 | Risks can include general knee pain and pain at the injection site. |
| 0:47.1 | You can see full prescribing information at doorlane.com. |
| 0:51.3 | As Spartans, we lean in to difficult conversations. We overcome obstacles through our body to demonstrate that we can move into challenges and move through them and come out on the other end |
| 1:07.3 | greater, smarter, more wise, more courageous, and more resilient. |
| 1:12.9 | And if there's anybody to talk to us |
| 1:15.2 | about how to have a difficult and hard conversation, |
| 1:19.0 | it's Kwame. |
| 1:20.5 | Literally, his organization works to empower people to negotiate anything and to have those difficult conversations because greatness lies on the other side of them. |
| 1:32.0 | And right now we are at a time in our country where we must have |
| 1:36.1 | difficult conversations about racial injustice and the ways that we can all come together. |
| 1:42.1 | And so I'm thrilled and super excited |
| 1:44.6 | to have Kwame on today. |
| 1:46.2 | And Kwame, I'm going to bring you in immediately |
| 1:49.0 | and ask you, listen, you posted something |
| 1:51.6 | on your Facebook page, which sort of indicated your own vulnerability around talking about this and I'm wondering if maybe we could start there today |
| 1:59.7 | Yeah, so I am serving as a reluctant leader here on this topic, |
| 2:05.9 | because back before I was practicing business law |
| 2:09.6 | and the start of the American Negotiation Institute, |
... |
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