Coping with separation anxiety

My New Life

Kate Garlinge

Loveverytoddler, Toddlerplay, Toddlereducation, Playtolearn, Smartbaby, Babymilestones, Toddleractivities, Loveverybaby, Babyeducation, Strongtoddler, Toddlermilestones, Toddlersubscriptionbox, Toddlertoys, Earlylearningprogram, Babydevelopment, Sustainabletoys, Learningtoys, Learningthroughplay, Strongbaby, Babysubscriptionbox, Educationaltoys, Playkits, Parenting, Babytoys, Playtime, Toddlerdevelopment, Babyactivities, Smarttoddler, Lovevery, Kids & Family, Babyplay

4.7 • 654 Ratings

🗓️ 2 November 2022

⏱️ 29 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

The stress of separation is real — it can be upsetting for both you and your child. Whether it be a child sobbing for you to stay when the babysitter shows up or clinging to your leg at drop-off, it’s easy to feel like you’re doing it all wrong when these raw emotions take over.

My New Life’s Jessica Rolph welcomes Family Psychologist Ashleigh Warner to help parents navigate this tricky terrain. Ashleigh reassures us that these feelings are normal, and shares ways to make separations easier on everyone involved.

Highlights:

[1:45] What is causing our babies and toddlers to get so upset when we leave the room?

[3:02] Ashleigh talks about Dr. Gordon Neufeld’s model of attachment.

[5:15] Ashleigh explains why it is completely normal for a child to struggle at drop-off.

[6:37] What happens if there are a few caregivers, who might even change day by day?

[7:30] How to handle attachment in a daycare setting for a baby?

[9:03] Is sneaking out recommended? How should parents handle separation?

[11:21] What can caretakers do to make separation less traumatic?

[14:45] What is the role of distraction? Are distractions recommended?

[15:58] How long is it okay for a child to be crying and upset over a separation?

[17:34] Is it ok to go back for your child if the crying is more than you can handle?

[21:05] Should caregivers be practicing a few things at home before a big transition like starting daycare or preschool?

[22:30] What are ways that caregivers can build trust in their children that they will always return?

[23:30] Jessica presents the question of a listener. She’s a Navy mom who is gone a lot, and finds it painful when her child expresses a preference for Daddy. What advice does Ashleigh have for this mom?

[25:02] How can a parent ease the transition when returning to work?

[26:38] Jessica shares her takeaways from her conversation with Ashleigh Warner.

Mentioned in this episode:

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to My New Life, a Love Every podcast.
0:12.3	In this season of the podcast, we take a look at transitions.
0:15.9	From diaper to potty, crib to bed, saying goodbye to pacifiers,
0:20.1	we're here to support you through all these
0:22.8	tricky transitions and more, even the ones that we as parents resist. I'm your host, Jessica Rolfe.
0:32.9	I remember leaving for business trips when my children were little. My suitcase standing by in the front
0:38.1	hall, wanting those last cuddles. I'm just loving the connection, but now is lingering and we're on
0:44.9	the verge of tears. How to extract myself from this warm little body and get to the flight on time.
0:52.0	And once I do, then there's the quiet aftermath, alone with the
0:56.1	pit in my stomach. Rationally, I know it'll be okay, but the stress of separation is real. It hurts.
1:02.8	We all experience some version of this, whether it be a child sobbing for you to stay when the
1:07.7	babysitter shows up or clinging to your leg at drop off. It's easy to feel like
1:12.5	you're doing it all wrong when these raw emotions take over. Today's guest reassures us that
1:18.4	these feelings are normal. Family psychologist Ashley Warner joins me from Australia to look at some
1:25.3	ways to make separations easier on your child and yourself.
1:30.0	Welcome, Ashley. It is so great to have you with us.
1:33.8	Thanks for having me here, Jess. I'm so excited to be here and to chat about this topic.
1:38.4	So let's get into it. So what is going on? What is causing our babies and toddlers to get so upset when we leave the
1:45.5	room? Starting with babies. Yeah, so what's a really important thing for parents to understand is that
1:51.9	attachment develops over many years. So what happens is babies and toddlers and even preschoolers,
1:58.3	they're still finding ways to feel connected and close to us
2:01.7	when they're apart from us. So what we know for babies is that they need in about the first year of
	...

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