Connie Tu: Internalized ableism, PDA & learning to unmask
Women & ADHD
Katy Weber
4.9 • 685 Ratings
🗓️ 19 February 2024
⏱️ 72 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Episode 175 with Connie Tu.
“In many ways I miss my old mask because it worked for so many years. This new mask is taking a lot of work to build.”
Connie lives in Bradford in Northern England and has spent the last 10 years as a skilled body artist in the medium of natural henna and ethically-sourced jagua. She received a dual diagnosis of Autism and ADHD about a year ago.
Connie was one of my Instagram followers who answered my call for “regular” guests because she definitely didn’t see herself as an ADHD success story. She is currently trying to run her creative business, while parenting two neurodivergent teens and maintaining her marriage.
We talk about her journey to diagnosis and her experiences with untangling her internalized ableism. Connie also talks about her experiences with PDA (pathological demand avoidance), childhood masking, feeling different, and the pressure to be white passing. And we discuss the pressure to model healthy emotional regulation as parents of neurodivergent teens.
And, inspired by Sonny Jane Wise’s new book “We’re All Neurodiverse,” Connie makes the case for renaming ADHD to “capitalistically challenged” — and I’m definitely here for it!
Website: createdbyconnie.co.uk
Instagram: @createdbyconnie
Links & Resources:
Connie’s Caught Red-Handed Podcast episode
We're All Neurodiverse by Sonny Jane Wise
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Episode edited by E Podcast Productions
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey friends, it's Katie here. Have you spent your whole life wondering why things feel harder for you |
| 0:05.2 | than they do for everyone else? Do you struggle with motivation even for the things you actually want to do? |
| 0:10.6 | Are you exhausted even though it feels like you're not getting anything done? If you're nodding along, |
| 0:15.9 | then I've got some exciting news. I've recently expanded the women and ADHD team by joining forces with a few |
| 0:22.4 | of my favorite ADHD coaches, each of whom I trust wholeheartedly because they share my values |
| 0:28.1 | of compassionate, neurodivergent affirming support. Consistent one-on-one coaching from someone |
| 0:33.1 | who truly understands what it's like to live with ADHD can make all the difference in life. |
| 0:38.6 | Our women and ADHD coaches provide guidance, support, and accountability you can trust |
| 0:43.6 | with accessible pricing and free consultation calls, so you can find the right coach for you |
| 0:48.6 | without any pressure or pushy sales tactics. Just real support from women who truly get it. Discover what's possible when |
| 0:55.5 | you have the right support. Head to women and ADHD.com slash coaching to book your free consult today. |
| 1:02.8 | People say, do what you want to do, do what you enjoy doing, do what you love to do. And I've never |
| 1:08.5 | known what that is because that's where my PDA is most debilitating. What I would love to do. And I've never known what that is because that's where my PDA is |
| 1:12.0 | most debilitating. What I would love to do, what I enjoy to do, my PDA is telling me it |
| 1:17.8 | it feels horrible to do it. So don't do it. |
| 1:24.9 | Hello and welcome to the women and ADHD podcast. I'm your host, Katie Weber. I was diagnosed |
| 1:31.3 | with ADHD at the age of 45, and it completely turned my world upside down. I've been looking |
| 1:37.4 | back at so much of my life, school, jobs, my relationships, all of it with this new lens, and it has been nothing short of |
| 1:46.3 | overwhelming. |
| 1:47.3 | I quickly discovered I was not the only woman to have this experience, and now I interview |
| 1:51.8 | other women who, like me, discovered in adulthood they have ADHD, and are finally feeling |
| 1:57.6 | like they understand who they are and how to best lean into their strengths, |
... |
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