Conflict Is Necessary At Work... Really with Amy Gallo

The Anxious Achiever

Morra Aarons-Mele

Careers, Management, Mental Health, Business, Health & Fitness

4.7 • 600 Ratings

🗓️ 25 September 2025

⏱️ 37 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Most of us hate conflict. It feels uncomfortable, anxiety-inducing, and often easier to avoid. In this episode, I talk with conflict expert Amy Gallo about why avoiding conflict fuels more anxiety in the long run, and how to reframe difficult conversations as opportunities for connection and progress. Amy shares her four-step framework for handling conflict, what to do when shame or fear hijack your emotions, and why practicing in small, everyday interactions can build confidence for higher stakes moments. Tune in to learn tools and mindset shifts you need to navigate disagreements with more calm, clarity, and confidence. In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why most of us avoid conflict. 06:00 Tips to manage conflict in a healthy way. 09:45 How avoiding conflict builds “conflict debt” that comes back stronger. 12:30 Ways to rebuild trust and strengthen relationships after conflict. 17:30 The gender angle of negotiating and conflict at work. 22:45 Amy’s 4-step framework for handling conflict effectively. 30:15 Why “agree to disagree” isn’t always a real solution. 32:00 How do you recover from conflict when shame or rumination takes over? Resources + Links Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Amy: on LinkedIn @amyegallo + Instagram @amyegallo

Transcript

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0:00.0	Do you avoid conflict and difficult conversations at work?
0:09.0	If you're human, you probably do.
0:12.0	It's kind of a superpower and I've met people who can do it.
0:15.0	But I think most of us, we don't like feeling conflict.
0:20.0	It makes us anxious. It's really hard. It's common to get flooded
0:26.0	with emotions in the middle of a tough conversation, right? The stakes feel high. And so we avoid
0:33.9	feedback and criticism and difficult conversations, both giving it and receiving it. But conflict
0:41.2	expert Amy Gallo says, honestly, avoiding conflict, it's worse for your anxiety in the long run.
0:50.0	And it's healthy to have conflict at work. We just need to understand how to manage it.
0:57.6	And that's what she's going to help us do today.
1:01.0	I'm Maura Erin Smealy, and this is the anxious achiever,
1:05.3	the show that looks at the intersection of mental health and leadership and work. asks, how can we do it all better?
1:15.9	I want to just leave you with a tidbit as we head into the show. Amy and I are going to talk
1:20.2	about lots of practical approaches to managing conflict, especially if you're an anxious achiever.
1:27.1	Something that really has changed managing conflict for me, especially difficult conversations,
1:33.3	is just a little phrase that I learned, and actually my husband helped me with it.
1:38.3	And it's kind of a catch phrase.
1:41.3	When I'm heading into a difficult conversation, I prepare myself, I write out bullets and talking
1:46.8	points, and when I get flustered and when I get anxious in the moment, I pause and I might say
1:54.6	that's not how I see things.
1:58.1	When I go into sort of emotional hijacking, I can always come back to this neutral
2:03.6	phrase. So we'll talk about sort of emotional heuristics that we can all use to manage conflict
	...

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