Vicki Bozeman describes her feelings after the death of her husband.

I experienced losing my own identity.

I thought, who am I?

And it's just like three-fourths of me disappeared, was gone.

Even in that, you realize God still is ultimately in control.

This is Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Lee DeMoss for Friday, July 24th.

Yesterday, we began hearing a conversation Nancy recorded in 2006.

She talked with Vicki Bozeman and Kathy Ferguson, who both know the surprise and pain

of losing their husbands in a moment.

They've talked honestly about the struggles and the grace that come when life is suddenly changed. Nancy's going to pick up that

conversation, addressing her first question to Kathy. Is it hard for a lot of Christians to even talk about or deal with this whole concept of disappointment, the unexpected?

Are we maybe in too much of a hurry to get people through that process?

I think it's a difficult subject for us to talk about sometimes in the believing community is when God has given us

something that we have not wanted. And we find it hard to hang the right words on that

because we're uncomfortable with anyone saying we're very sensitive with someone might say

they're angry with God. But I did find in my spirit that I was disappointed with this turn in my life.

And I, like Vicki, we were in visible situations, and so there were a lot of people watching

my journey. And in my heart, I wanted to honor God, and I wanted to honor my husband's

great faith and strength in our city and our community.

But I also knew that it wouldn't dishonor God if I said, I'm struggling, but he's still with me.

I didn't want to communicate at any point that God would only be there when the victory came of my emotions,

that God was with me in that valley of death. He was walking on. He knew

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