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Welcome to Ambridge on the couch, an in-depth look at the Archers with me, Jeff Thomas, Lucy Freeman, Harriet Carmichael, James Everett and Matt Rodriguez-Pain.

Now, before we make a start on your emails, let's have a recap of what happened this week in Ambridge.

We began the week with the poor old Malix having to endure black bean casserole at Brookers.

Ruth has suddenly decided that Azra is her new best friend, which came as a surprise to everyone,

so they'll be as thick as thieves until Ruth has another amnesia fit.

This jolly Sunday Lynch was interrupted by Helen, of course, always keen to disrupt something perfectly peaceful that's going on elsewhere.

She wanted Akram to take a job at Bridge Farm, as Alice said, Adam is not easily replaced.

Really? I'd have said a tote lampshade would have done it, but apparently not.

Azah was very huffy about Helen offering Akram work as a past knit packer, as she was very

anxious about them not being able to afford to pay for Khalil and Zainab to do a master's.

Or a PhD?

Currently, Zainab's driving pizzas around the countryside and Khalil seems to want to spend most

of his time with goats. So I can't really see a masters on the cards for either of them, but Azra certainly got very exercised about it all. Then she had a rapid change of heart, prompted by Buggar-all, and decided that she wanted a husband that smelled of curly kale. You really don't, Azra. If curly kale comes into any form of water for longer than two seconds, it smells like a farting dog. So if you're doing this for marriage, for your marriage, then that could be an ironic choice. George opened the door to Chris in the middle of a plumbing emergency and considering water was pouring out of the drum all over the floor, he could have sped up a bit as it was. He sounded as if he was under heavy sedation. Anyway, Chris and George are now

best friends, too. George felt he was on a roll, so he then went to see Alice and apologised the

magic colouring book, then jumped out on Kenton in the beer garden. Oddly, this prompted

Kenton to offer a shaky hand of friendship, but Jolene was having none of it, and referred to George

as the cock of Ambridge. Stiff competition there.

Alice decided to coordinate a family meeting with George and safe to say the proposal

...