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Welcome to Ambridge on the couch, an in-depth look at the archers with me Harriet Carmichael, Jeff Thomas, Lucy Freeman, and Matt Rodriguez-Pain.

Now, before we make a start on your emails, let's have a recap of what happened this week in Ambridge.

We began the week with Lillian and Neal in the graveyard

mourning the departed and Emma and Susan in the Bull mourning the present, i.e. Amber, squawking about

her marriage to Georgie. Susan was outraged that Georgie was marrying someone she hadn't met,

which missed the point by a country mile. And Neil and Lillian comforted each other that although

all the relatives were

bloody awful, they'd done their best. Kenton's efforts to get the bull shut down for good

continued this time by confiscating people's mobiles and forcing them to go and talk to novelists

called Drew Cloons who are sitting on their own, no doubt for excellent reasons.

While Kenton handled Alicea like a pushy

mother arranging a play date for a toddler, the second Eddie took the piss about pints and crisps,

he folded like a tea towel. Is Eddie a mafia don? Or did he have a dog lead he was waving about

in a sinister fashion? The reason Eddie was behaving, like Lynn folds would, it's a potential death trap

in the bull was tediously because he was entering the pub for the South Borsetshire Pub Awards. Quite why he had to go through that rigmaral to do it, I don't know, but I suppose it did get him a free pack of crisps and half a cold pie. Everyone reacted as if he'd nominated them for the Nobel Prize, so I suppose there must be something in it, but God knows what. Emma made a confusing attempt to get Amber to rethink the whole wedding idea,

which went so well it ended with Amber being thrown out of her house and moving into Little

Grange and Ed being forbidden to make eggy messes, which I can understand when they're all

living in the close confines of a mobile home. The eggy messes worked their magic though and she swiftly moved out only to shack up with Clary,

...