You know, it really does bad for me.

Sorry, I'm Lisa Villier and you're listening to Women of Impact.

I just wanted to dive in because this topic really sits on my heart.

That you can fall in love with someone.

They can fall in love with you.

You can literally pledge to the world that you love this person and they put a ring on your finger and you think it's amazing. But somehow, some way, you end up quote unquote blinking and now you don't even know the person lying next to you. The amount of stories that I've heard

like that literally keep me awake at night and this is the thing that I focus on when it comes to my relationship with my husband, how the hell do you go for being in love to not even knowing the person next to you and finding out all these things about them years down the line? Now that's exactly what actually happened with Lily Allen and her ex David Harbour from Stranger Things. From the outside they seemed like celebrity frickin power couple, they were quirky, they were playful, they were all smiles, but now, then if you heard, Lily actually dropped an album and let's just say the lyrics are freaking blowing the lid of what actually went down in their relationship. So because of the thing that keeps me up every night on how you can go from loving someone

to not recognizing who they are, not even realizing they weren't who you thought they were, that's where I'll put on CIA spy on my favourite humans and to boost the one day. So that he can do what he does best and that's decode to deception, analyse micro expressions and expose what you've got might already be screaming that this isn't a freaking healthy relationship. Now today we're going to break down the body language clues that reveals emotional distance

so you can stop second-guessing your instincts in case you start to think or feel this is happening with you and your partner. We also talk about how passive-aggressive jokes and not so sweet but kind of sweet notes might actually be major red flags in disguise and how you can know the difference between a healthy, fun dynamic or a very toxic, insidious dynamic. And finally we go into why the signs of manipulation often look like love at first. This is the major trap guys. We think as how I started we think we've met the person of our dreams only to realise they're not. While it's heartbreaking, I'd say that I'm using Lily Allen, whose music I love, and her divorce with her ex David Harbour. We are really talking about how we'd miss the signs, and what signs are there early on so that maybe we can spot them early and then be able to lease so we can actually find someone that's right for us and we're right for them. So how do you know? Well, this episode hopefully helps you start to identify those signs by using real examples. Again, Paul Lillie, I feel bad that they've got a divorce, but the truth is that maybe if you've seen these signs earlier, maybe she wouldn't have stayed in that relationship for so long. Now, I'm going to warn you, ladies, me and Andrew actually don't agree on a lot in this episode. There are signs that we both interpret in a different way, and so I want to know which one you guys think, so listen to this, pay attention and then reach out and let us know. Which one you think is actually happening in this dynamic. Alright ladies, if you've ever been ghastly into thinking that you're the problem, in this episode is your toolkit to see the signs,

trust your instincts and take your damn power back. So let's get into it right now with Andrew Busson-Monte, right here on Women of Impact. You fall in love with an amazing man, only to realise that he's not actually who thought he was. Well, that's exactly what happened with Lily Allen and her husband David Harbour. Now, I want to go back and see what signs did we miss.

So today, Mr. C.I.A. Spotter, you're going to help us spot the science that your partner may be lying, cheating, manipulating you or a narcissist. So let's play the clip. Oh God. What the hell are you doing here? I mean, last time I was single and I was living on the lorry, so I have a family now. Kids, I mean, it's a show in Barrison. You look good though. Come on in. This is our kitchen. Our painting list kitchen. When I first met Lily Allen, we first went on a date.

One point you did say to me that you wanted, you always wanted a plain English kitchen. That would be quite bold on a first date to be like, hi, nice to meet you. By the way, Plaining-Lish is the name of the kitchen. I liked it. I got it all I did. I was like, all right. Stop. I just want to establish everything seems lovely right now.

That is not what I would establish right now.

Oh, I don't know on it.

So. I just want to establish everything seems lovely right now. That is not what I would establish right now. Oh, I don't know on it. So if we actually rewind all the way back to the beginning when the camera person first walks into the house, there's two things that catch my attention right away. So first is Lily has a hard time maintaining eye contacts, not just face to face with her husband, but even looking at his body. So he's behaving in a way she doesn't approve of. We're very focused on him because he's the one that's center stage. But you can see her laughter and you can see her kind of shyness in the background. She has her arms crossed. She's turns sideways to him. She's not showing signs of approval of his sense of humor.

She's showing signs of awkwardness of a sense of humor.

Now if we jump to the scene in the kitchen,

you'll see the same thing.

He's got closed, closed posture, his hands are crossed,

he's leaning back against the stove.

She's got her arms crossed and her legs crossed.

And there's this distance between the two of them.

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