These aren't the stories your mother told you.

No, these are the other stories.

Merry Christmas.

Well, it's here, ladies and gentlemen, and everything in between.

We've boarded up the windows, we've lit the fire, loaded our pistols, hidden our gold, bullion, and our children, turned our phones to silent mode and are now playing the waiting game.

Somewhere up above is Santa.

Do you hear what I hear?

Silver bells, angels harking at the moon.

To add insult to injury, apparently Santa wants to kiss my mum.

The cheek of it.

No, I say.

No.

A big Christmas shout out to Spirit Animal and all-around awesome person, Tosha, who's been in our Facebook group for a little while now.

Torsia had recently shared with us that her and her, Mark, who I imagine is a human being, they're engaged to be married.

Actually, her post just said engaged, engaged, so she could be engaged in combat chess water polo we have no way of knowing

let's assume they mean wedding though and wish them a big merry christmas wedding congratulations

from everyone at the hawk and cleaver offices cares will fly over he'll bring the bunting

i'll bring the cake dan will bring um uh keesh. He can rustle up a cracking

keesh. That's how Dan is known in the United Kingdom

as the keesh whisperer.

The music in today's episode has been provided by

Toilet Roll Tube. Yes, that's

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