An ASMR guide for Marmite first timers. First, toast your pillowy soft bread. Push that.

Liberally spread that butter. Stroke that Marmite open. Dip that knife and spread that. Don't overload.

And taste that. Marmite. Love it. Hate it. Get it on.

I feel obliged to share what we have found with the public. The following might seem crazy to most,

but that is what we found. You may be wondering who I am. My name is Chris Mayer. I'm a qualified

geologist, though my job is to map the ocean floor. How I got into my current position is a long

story in and of itself, so I won't waste time on that. Up until 2018, I did just that. Go to

the oceans of the world and map the sea floor. At the beginning of that year, I returned from a

voyage in the south Atlantic. I was ready to finally spend some time with my family. But then,

not even a week since I came back home, I got a knock on my door. Two men dressed in black suits

and black ties the boot greeted me at my door. They said they worked with the CIA and I was a man

with a skillset that they needed. I, of course, didn't want anything to do with that. I wanted to

rest and spend some time with my family. Then they showed me the check I would receive if I accepted

their offer. $250,000 up front and then for every day I spent on the project, I will get $1,000 more.

That peaked my interest. You can guess my answer from then on.

Fast forward a few months and I found myself on an abandoned oil rig in the North Pacific Ocean.

I can understand why they would want me as a sea floor mapper, but they wanted me for me as a geologist.

They stated they found me adequate because I was used to being on the sea for extended periods of

time and this project of theirs needed some experience with the sea fairing life I guess.

Anyway, that oil rig was refitted with all kinds of modern gadgets and machinery.

Most curious of all, a massive drill. I mean that drill extended at least 200 feet into the air

and God knows how wide it was. Not to mention it went all the way to the sea floor and then into the earth

...