Welcome to the Total Soccer Show.

My name is Ryan Bailey, and my voice is caressing your ear holes right now via the medium of podcast in order to fill you in on this week's tranche of Champions League matches.

Joining me to do so is a man who is to soccer analysis what the Justice League Snyder cut is to wasting

four hours of your life, i.e. a perfect match, Taylor Rockwell. Hey, buddy. Have you watched

it yet? No, I'll never watch it. I watched, um, what's that? Sucker Punch. I watched a movie

called Sucker Punch by Zach Snyder. That, that satiated my need for his content for the rest of my life. Man, sucker punch is a journey that you went on. I credit you, and I have never seen it, nor will I ever. It was an airplane watch. I think it was a captive audience situation. Never again. But I'm seeing people getting very excited about this Snyder cut. They're excited to watch a movie that was twice as long as the original. No. Yeah, with worse CGI. Should be fun. All movies should be 90 minutes. Any movie that's 91 minutes or longer should be banned. That's my opinion. I support that. Oh, I'm joining us there. you just heard his voice, Mr. Graham Rdwin, who's nominated, by the way, for the Vest Grammy at the first annual Grammy Awards. How you doing, Graham? I am good. I've been called up to the big leagues today, boys, Champions League. Doesn't get any bigger than this. That's right. Well, in a few years when UEFA make the Champions League on the weekends and they relegate normal soccer to the weekdays, you'll be big leagues every weekend on the weekend review, Graham. Yep. The European Super League sponsored by some golf oil company. That'll be me. They're totally going to do that, aren't they? That never really occurred to me. That is going to be the ultimate goal, isn't it, to have Champions League on the weekends? Oh, definitely. Yeah. I think we've already mentioned that. And they've mentioned, maybe we'll get into this later, but that is it the Swiss model of having the Champions League? 32 teams, but basically 10 group games for every team. And the top eight of those 32 will go through automatically then the last 16

have playoffs for the final eight games it means a lot of mediocre meaningless games in the group

stages yeah that's the future guys and i feel like in the fine red print of that like the

very end of the contract concludes with and you they go through no. Like, isn't that part of the deal as well?

Shee.

It is indeed.

Guys, before we go any further, I've got to be serious for a second.

I have a prepared statement I'd like to read out if that's okay.

I, Ryan Bailey, have always believed from the bottom of my soul that Eunice Musa would declare his national team loyalties to the USM&T.

He bleeds red, white and blue, that's the red white and blue from the American flag, not the British one to be clear.

Any inference that I'd not believe Musa would represent this fine nation in its quest to lift the 22, 26 and 2030 World Cups is fake news and an egregious attack on my character.

I request that the privacy of myself and my family are respected at this difficult time.

Thank you very much.

And lastly, fuck all of you.

Wow.

Ryan, starting off with a punchy vibe today is what I'm going to say.

That was quite the same off.

...