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Thank you. Welcome to the Total Soccer Show and our review of this week's Champions League round of 16 first leg ties in which Porto got out their claws, inter-made athletic paws, and the other two games were delicately poised drawers.

My name's Ryan Bailey joining me today to talk all things continental action. Taylor Rockwell, hello.

Hello. Hello, buddy. Also joining us, Grand Rutherman. Hello, Graham.

Hello, Ryan. How are you excited to talk about four mediocre to boring matches today?

I didn't want to start off with that, Graham, but I did want to follow up with four games that made Graham say,

I can't wait.

I'm excited to make Graham end up being enthusiastic about these things.

Yeah, that's going to be a great episode.

When you went to podcasting school, did they tell you to try not to get the listeners and listen to the rest of the episode within the first minute?

Uh, yeah, I missed that, that class at school. These were captivating ties, Joe Lowry, right? Oh, absolutely. I love these games. I love them so much. When I went to podcasting school, they said to use a monotone voice to convince the audience and that what you're saying you really believe, and that's what I'm doing right now. Definitely have the tone of a hostage reading a prepared statement. Yeah, no, Barcelona was great. Shavi's decision to push Andres Christensen, not just to the number six role, but to the number eight role made a ton of sense to me, and I agree with every single part of it. Wonderful. Save that goal for later, Joseph, that's my advice. Right now we've got to dig into a video that Graham found and he shared amongst our group

of Finland's Eurovision entry, which is by someone called Windows 95 guy who is dressed in Windows 95

clothing, Graham. I thought you'd be a big fan, Ryan, given the 90s nostalgia in this video,

no? Is this not the sort of 90s nostalgia you're into?

I'm a big fan of Microsoft, Mr. Apple over here. Is that what you're saying?

That's true, of course. Yeah. Apologies. That was an oversight. Yeah, it's an interesting.

Even by Eurovision standards, it's an interesting entry where there's a man dressed in Euro95 hat and shirt.

And nothing else. Almost. He's wearing underwear.

...