Welcome to the Total Soccer Show and our first Champions League review of 2122.

It was a match day in which defending was as absent as Juergen Klops glasses.

I miss those little guys.

Shaktar didn't shoot the sheriff or the deputy.

Real Madrid committed a robbery at the Sancero and by Munich played in summer friendly mode

for their leisurely stroll around the camp new.

My name's Ryan Bailey.

Joining me today as a man who's never scored a hat trick and still lost by six goals,

Taylor Rockwell.

I appreciate the implication that I have scored a hat trick and ideally in the Champions League. So yeah, I'll take that and you are correct. I have never done that. But I also appreciate that you went, has never as opposed to never. There's still time, Ryan. There's still time. There is still time. Also made a presumption that that has never, that exact scenario hasn't happened to you, Taylor. I'm glad that hasn't befallen you because it's a befallen a certain other person this week, which we shall discuss later.

We shall. or hasn't happened to you, Taylor, so I'm glad that hasn't befallen you because it's a befallen a certain other person this week, which we shall discuss later.

We shall, we shall. And, you know, maybe if they continue to underperform, Leipzig will need

some new goal scores. So maybe there's still time, Ryan. Maybe indeed. Also here with us, Taylor,

is a man whose defense of Scottish cuisine is much better than any defence at the Etihad on Wednesday, Graham Ruffin.

Hello, Ryan. Yes, I will take that as compliment, although I don't think it's very difficult to put up a better defence than there was put up at the Hetty Had the last night.

It wasn't great scenes for Jesse Marsh and Arby rby libsing but some positives and i think

will probably come on to those later in the pod indeed i realized i was trying to compliment you graham

but i was damning you with faint praise yes i did notice that yep i just decided to ignore it and

move on yeah if anything graham's quote-unquote defense of scottish cuisine is pretty reminiscent of the defending we saw the other night, which was more of like, yeah, sure, whatever you want to do, I don't really mind.

That is true, except when it comes to deep-fried pizza and ice.

Of course.

I like deep fried pizza vibes more than I like Etta had defending vibes lately, but that's another story.

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