The CBS Radio Mystery Theater presents.

Come in.

Welcome.

I'm E.G. Marshall.

It does no good to argue with the inevitable.

Actually, the best rebuttal you can present to a frosty north wind is a fur-lined overcoat.

But isn't that the way we go through life, arguing with the inevitable, the imponderable, the incomprehensible, and the unchangeable?

Who are you, Ralph?

Who am I?

Well, I fell in love with you.

I thought you were what I wanted an average guy, but that's not what I wanted at all.

But I am an average guy, Sylvia. Oh, no. Oh, you're dangerous. Exciting. And I don't care if you go with other women. Why, a man like you, Ralph, no one woman could be enough.

Sylvia?

Well, I don't care about the others, as long as I'm the one you come home to.

Our mystery drama,

You're Better Off Guilty,

was written especially for the mystery theater by Sam Dair and stars Christopher Tabori.

It is sponsored in part by ARM, Allergy Relief Medicine.

I'll be back shortly with Act 1.

Thank you. medicine. I'll be back shortly with Act 1. In bygone days, storytellers would celebrate the death of kings. Today, kings being generally in short supply and basically out of favor, we have a brand new breed of hero, or more accurately, non-hero.

You see them on the screens. We read about them in books. They're just ordinary, everyday, average fellows.

They dream no great visions. They set no impossible goals. They neither challenge fortune, nor do they defy fate.

...