Can You Work Together with an Abuser? [299]

Flying Free

Natalie Hoffman

Emotional, Narcissism, Christianity, Abuse, Religion & Spirituality, Spiritual, Christian, Self-improvement, Education, Divorce, Marriage

5 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 29 October 2024

⏱️ 28 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In today’s episode, I answer a listener's question about co-parenting with an abusive ex and challenge the idea of "working together" with abusers. You’ll learn the importance of shifting the focus away from the abuser and toward personal healing and growth.

Key Takeaways:

Stop investing emotional energy into trying to "fix" or "work with" an abusive person. It's a cycle that leads nowhere.
Redefine what it means to be a "father"—biological ties do not make someone a healthy or safe parent.
Avoid gaslighting your children by pretending their experiences with their abusive parent are fun or normal.
It is impossible to thrive while working with someone who thrives on control and abuse. The focus should be on healing yourself and your children.

Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

Episodes mentioned with Bob Hamp: Episode 1, Episode 76, Episode 277, and Episode 297.
Are you wondering what is happening inside your own painful and confusing marriage? I wrote another book just for you called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman’s Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse.
My newest book, All the Scary Little Gods, is a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming.
Flying Free is my online membership program designed for Christian women in emotionally abusive marriages. Whether you want to stay in your marriage or leave, we want to equip and support you through this program.
Flying Higher is my online membership program for divorced Christian women. Come rebuild your life after divorce with women just like you.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, this is Natalie Hoffman of Flying Free Now.com and you're listening to the
0:09.3	Flying Free Podcast, a support resource for women of faith, looking for hope and healing from hidden
0:16.4	emotional and spiritual abuse. Welcome to episode 299 of the Flying Free Podcast.
0:27.0	Today I'm recording from a brand new office in my basement. I have been living in this house now for seven years and I've moved my
0:37.0	office so many different times I started out doing things in the kitchen and then
0:42.0	I started doing things in my bedroom the bedroom
0:45.2	that I share with my husband Tom and then I moved to the basement there was a
0:50.8	closet it was like a kind of a walk-in storage closet no windows or anything
0:54.8	I moved my whole office into that closet that was interesting and I was there for
1:00.8	quite a while then when my daughter got married I moved up to the bedroom that she was in and I thought that was going to be my final landing place but it had a wooden floor and it was a fairly large room and had a beautiful window, looked out with a
1:15.0	cherry tree in the front, and it's beautiful, but it wasn't very good for recording podcasts because there was a lot of echo in that room and it just
1:25.3	it wasn't comfortable I don't know there was just something about it that just it
1:28.8	didn't quite feel right then my son came home from college. It's a long story, but I basically have five kids
1:36.5	still living here this summer. And then when he went back and we had to kind of save a room for him because he was going to college and then coming back and going to college and then coming back.
1:46.5	But he's graduating this year now.
1:48.5	He's graduating this winter.
1:50.5	And so when he comes back this next time, he's not going to be coming back to live with me
1:55.1	He's going to go live with his dad until he can find his own place until he gets a full-time job and finds his own place
2:01.8	So that freed up the basement bedroom. And so that is where I moved
2:08.1	my office and this room is it. This is it. It's a very small room, but it has a window looking out to the backyard.
2:16.0	It has a sunken ceiling on one part of it.
2:21.0	And because it's a small room with this sunken ceiling and it's all
	...

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