Episode three, Business Arrangements.

And they make you think that, sorry, I'm getting kind of emotional,

they make you think that you're like, they're property.

Paulina was in a pretty vulnerable headspace when we first met in 2019. That day in the cafe,

she had recently left her community. And as she told me about her life, she said her family had

arranged for her to be married. But she insisted that she had felt functionally auctioned off.

They like basically say like, it's dowry, but it's not. They pay for you. And then once you're

officially married, they always use it against you. They say, we own you. We bought you.

Over time, she'd tell me the whole complicated story of her marriage. And I'd come to find out,

it didn't exactly unfold in the way I'd imagined a quote unquote arranged marriage would.

In fact, as Paulina remembers it, everything started one night years ago when she was over at

a cousin's house and their families were partying late. Or at least their fathers were.

Our mothers were in the back, you know, room sleeping and they were like, just serve and

entertain on your fathers. Paulina said it was up to the kids, her and her cousin Bobby, to keep

the party going. So we had to stay up all night and sing and dance and serve them beer.

Bobby and Paulina were the de facto DJs. We were downloading music online wire, right? If you guys

remember what that was. After hours of volying from Romani music to hip hop to N-Sync to Michael Jackson,

the party finally wound down. And Paulina and Bobby found themselves sort of tucked away from

the commotion. And he looked at me and he's like, listen, I was like, I have to tell you something.

And I'm like, what? And he's like, we always knew each other our whole lives. It would make her

parents so happy. Why don't we just get married?

So in their own little way, Paulina and Bobby were kind of sort of engaged.

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