Hi, you're listening to Small Things Often from the Gottman Institute, where we talk you through

research-based tips to help improve your relationships in five minutes or less.

Today's tip is about building relationships brick by brick. Relationships aren't magically unveiled

in a single romantic moment. Would you really want it to be? Building something can be the

satisfying part. Think of it this way. Imagine buying an awesome but intense Lego set for a seven-year-old.

And as a grand gesture, you give them the Lego set fully assembled. You spend hours building it.

You're so excited to show them. And then when it's time for the big reveal, you see a disappointed seven-year-old who is not excited. By creating this one-time grand gesture, you deprived them of the little moments that make Legos fun, building it brick by brick and making memories. This concept applies to your relationship. Small, intentional moments

hold more weight than isolated, extravagant gestures when it comes to building emotional

longevity in your relationship. This doesn't mean you shouldn't take your partner out for a hot date

or surprise them with a romantic weekend getaway. The big things matter too, but it's important

to appreciate the little things, the little things you do every day to connect with your partner.

It's the whole idea around small things often. You can help build your relationship, brick by brick,

by creating moments of connection with emotional

bids. A bid can be as simple as asking, how are you doing today? Or be more vulnerable by asking

things like, how can I make you feel love today? Check in with each other on a daily basis and have

these conversations. Bids are the building blocks of relationships. So remember to

pay attention to your partner's bids too. Accepting bids builds connection. Missing bids results

in disconnection. So here's today's small thing. Create a daily ritual of connection in whatever

way works for you and your partner. Just to make a habit out of taking a little time every day to be present for each other.

It could be a kiss before leaving the house, talking about your day over a glass of wine,

or taking a walk together.

Tune in to the next episode of Small Things Often for another quick tip from the Gottman Institute,

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