Hello, welcome to the show. This is Emotional Badass where Moxie meets Mindful. I'm your host,

Nikki Eisenhower, life coach and psychotherapist. And on today's episode, we are discussing

building intuitive muscles to repair self-betrayal from childhood trauma.

Music self-betrayal from childhood trauma. Hello, y'all.

We are still managing some things as a family,

dealing with a death in the family.

So if you're watching me on YouTube,

you can see I'm recording in my office instead of in our recording studio. Thank you for bearing with us,

and thank you so much for all of the kindnesses. You have extended not just to me, but to my husband,

Chris, who recently lost his father. We appreciate it so

much. It's choking me up. Thank you for being so generous with your big hearts and your kindnesses.

All right. So this is a really big topic today, y'all. It really, really is building intuitive

muscles to repair self-betrayal from

childhood trauma. Before we get into it, understand what I mean by self-betrayal. This is not victim

blaming or shaming. Self-betrayal happens when we are traumatized. So what would happen when I was a child, when my mother would

rage and spit in my face and be so close to my face, she was almost touching me. And it would

terrify me. It would shut me down. My intuition knew, this isn't right. It was a quiet, centered, this is not okay. Something's really wrong here.

I knew that like I knew my first name, like I knew the sun would shine in any given day. I knew it.

My intuition knew it. But because I was little, which means disempowered, the adults around me

had and held the power to shape my experiences, to guide my life. It means that I couldn't

empower myself to speak up without getting hit, hurt, punished, shamed. So it was self-preservation to ignore that gut response.

And when we ignore our gut response, it has to go somewhere. It doesn't just disappear.

...