Welcome back. It's another Bob and Tom Extra. This is Christopher. Not only is the Bob and Tom show live every weekday morning, but every afternoon we'll give you a little extra in case you missed anything.

On the big show today, Soap Talk and Artificial Tongues. Coming up in just a minute.

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Yeah, here's the latter, man.

Dear Donnie Baker,

how's Cam if you're so good with hot chicks you've never been married before?

Signed Casey in Cleveland.

Well, first of all, Casey, I ain't into marriage. I look at hot chicks like scratch-off tickets. Once you rub them off, the game's over anyways. And trust me, they ain't all winners, man. And why should I settle down now when I've worked so hard to get off double shifts? I mean, I've paid my dues. So why should I spend all my time in the same house with the same person?

Hell, if I wanted to do that, I'd go back to Jeevy. I hate being locked down. I don't swear to God I do. Seems like every time I make a promise to a chick, the whole thing goes downhill anyways. Just like Angel Skinner. I loved her, mine. I swear to God I did. So on Saturday, I'm helping her dad lay pay gravel around the porch, only to find out at the same time she was off rope and Todd Boner's cousin under a picnic shelter.

And I know you did, Angel, because you still had charcoal on your butt when you got home.

And nobody's buying your story about a brown bear eating your bra, angel.

Bears are carnivores.

I looked it up, and I know you gave it to Ricky anyways, because I've seen it hanging from his rearview mirror to four-way stop two weeks later. I swear to God, I did. So that's why I went ahead and poured lighter fluid on your old man's bugzapper. You both deserved it. He never paid me, and you broke my heart. Truth is, man, I don't think marriage is worth it. I mean, I love funnions, but some days I get a craving for Andy Capp's hot fries. I swear to God, I do. I mean, I'm like a Mustang on the open range. Nobody's fencing man. I mean, popping a question and running off to Gatlinburg sounds fun, but once the romance is over, it's the same feeling you get when you do the log ride for the second time.

The thrill's gone, man. Oh, and by the way, on the log ride, make sure you position yourself in the line the right way. Get like two or three behind a fat chick. Make sure they're in front. Man, that tidal wave will come up so huge, it'll drench your dates t-shirt,

and you'll be walking around with the best set of meat thimbles in the whole park. I swear God it's worth it. But back to marriage, man. Take my best friend, Scotty. He's been married four times. I'd be like, hey, man, let's go park some fork. He's like, I can't, Donnie. I'm married. I say, come on, Scotty, your vows said in sickness and health. Just tell Vonda cheating's your sickness. I swear to God, I did. Vonda wasn't buying it down, man. She filed the next day. She got half of everything. Hell, she even took half of Scotty's deer stand. So now when he goes hunting, hell, he's looking up at him. I swear to God he is.

I urge sex, man.

I got to go.

For those of you who always need something extra, well, here you go.

This is Bob and Tom Extra.

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