Sunday night, Stokes, he's batting and he's going to fight.

Nisa nicks him off and Stokes himself in the head as he walks off.

Is Nisa in your combined 11?

It's 2-0 Australia.

And the only team worse than the BBC viewers combined 11 is England itself as a whole.

It's another all-time Monday

morning for Australians, every podcast, every article, every Insta-Real, every tweet, every close-up video

being filmed of a bloke from the Bar Miami of him texting his mates back home saying how shit this is. It's been

months and months of England suck off and now the exact same people are bemoaning just how

fucking soft and mediocre this team is. We get to hear, even in a moment where you just think,

well, can England cause some chaos here in the final session?

Can they leave some scars?

And as it turns out, all we get is the Barmy Army embarrassing themselves by booing the greatest test player of this generation while being dressed up as guys on the Epstein list.

And then the captain gets to say, you bowl fast when there's nothing going on.

Champion.

Five nil, fuck off.

I am absolutely melting pezzar.

Yeah, well said he goes.

And hello Australia mainly.

Hello, sadomasochistic English fans and everybody else.

You've come to the right place if you want masochism, because that's what you're going to get.

Now, here's what's going to happen in the next 24 to 48 hours as the media and everybody else attempts to retain some hope

...