But if you think about like, well, why should I care what others think? It's not impression

management I want to show off and be a certain way. It's I care about being connected. If caring what

other people think and not wanting to hurt someone's feelings or let them down or disappoint them,

what's under that is I fear a disconnection because you matter to me.

Our relationship matters to me. And so we shouldn't listen to that and then go become a people

pleaser. But to recognize like, oh yeah, human beings matter to me. How do I want to show up as a

human in the context of whether it's being a parent or a partner or a friend or a colleague or whatever the case may be. And like, of course it's normal to care what other people

think and recognizing that and then going, okay, but what can I control? Because I don't control

what other people think, but I control how I move my own hands, feet, and mouth. And that's it,

literally. And that's where your

values come in. How do I want to show up to this presentation, even if everybody thinks I'm awful?

But is it more important for me to show up and try to do a good job and take that risk? Or do I

want to be the kind of person that hides out of fear? No, thanks.

Hope you enjoy a preview of this full episode published exclusively as a bonus for our

incredible online neuro-nerd community. This group is the backbone that keeps this podcast

thriving. And you can find out more at Therapistuncensored.com slash join.

Hey, everyone.

Welcome back to Therapist Uncensored.

I'm Ann Kelly.

Super excited about our guest today.

I'm here with Dr. Jill Stoddard.

You're going to, I think, get so much out of this episode.

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